10 Trends Everyone Seems To Like But Me

You know how sometimes you feel a bit left out of the trendy side of life? Yeah…me, too. And it’s not because you didn’t try to keep up to date. You most certainly did. But there are some things that are so ridiculous that they get on my nerves. Call them pet peeves or minor annoyances; the fact is that this is worse than Regina George’s attitude or Ronald McDonald’s ’fro.

1. Cupcakes.

Oh! The magic of the small frosted mini-sized cake! Everything tastes artificial. Perhaps that’s because I come from a country with such good pastry (Portugal) that I can’t fathom the “amazingness” of the cupcake. Nah. Deep inside I know I’m right. It tastes like it looks: “Barbie-flavored.”

For this, you can keep your four Glenn Coco.

2. Tennis boots.

No, I’m not saying All-Stars shoes. I think the proper name is sneakers? I thought that went for “regular” tennis shoes, but hey, you live and you learn. My point here is that unless you want to look like an injured astronaut, don’t wear them. Just don’t.

3. Macaroons.

One cannot expect much since the food in France is not the best. (Just because it’s refined doesn’t mean it tastes good. Thus, the problem with trends.) Nope, but the pastry in France is oh-my-God another kind of delicious! So yep, my expectations were as high as a puffy breakfast chocolate croissant can puff. Perhaps the one that I tasted went out wrong, but I could only bite on the greasy glazed sugar (where was the filling?) and feel disappointed.

4. Starbucks.

Starbucks is really expensive in comparison with something that you can get for a lower price and better-tasting content. One time I went there and tried a hot chocolate, and it was so overly sweet that I had to give it away to my friends. All four of us gave it a taste and nobody could finish the drink. I’m a big chocoholic, but that was outrageous and exorbitantly expensive.

5. Nude-colored clothing.

When I see someone on a “red carpet” type of thing with a “blah-colored” dress, it annoys the hell out of me (*ahem* in the past I may have wanted to be a clothes designer, but anyways). We are not talking about shapes, sizes, or cuts. It’s a color issue, and a big one! If you’re going to wear a “nude” tone, you might as well go naked. (By the way, if you’re going to a red-carpet event, please, and I mean PLEASE, don’t wear red. With so many colors to choose from, why the hell do you want to be confused with the carpet?)

6. Neon.

Markers and arts and crafts supplies: yes. Shoes, skirts, nails, bags: big no-no, unless you want to look like a traffic sign.

7. Jeffrey Campbell’s Lita-type shoes.

Very much like the injured astronaut ones: hideous. It’s not like you can even kill roaches with them since they aren’t pointy. So, semi-pleonasm here—what’s the point?

8. Reading on your electronic device.

OK, this one I kind of understand. For economic purposes it’s cheaper to buy the online version for a few bucks than to buy an expensive book. But if you don’t have a book in your house and you think you’re all that because you’re so high-tech, something’s wrong with you. And I’m talking about paper: hardcovers, paperbacks, whatever printed matter you wish to possess. Nothing compares to having a mixed, colorful shelf of old classics, new books, foreign literature, and hometown glories.

9. Sushi.

I tried to like it; I failed tremendously. “It’s healthy—you’re going to like it!” they said. “It tastes good—I promise,” they claimed. I try everything once (or so I like to think), but next time you think you’re going to make me eat raw, overly sweet fish with funky flavors, think again.

10. Overplayed music.

This leaves a bad taste in my mouth like a TV series that goes nowhere or a movie that you can’t stand halfway through. Not very long ago you could hear “Rolling in the Deep” and “Call Me Maybe” in every shopping mall you entered, on the radio, in your friends’ playlist, and your neighbor overplaying it (and wailing to it). Now I think “Happy” and “Blurred Lines” occupy that spot.

“What’s wrong with some poppy, commercial music?” some of you may ask. “It’s the thing everyone loves to hate!” The problem it’s not the music per se it’s the amount of times people choose to play it. Is it a budgetary issue? Because if it’s not, what the hell is wrong with you?