Thought Catalog
June 15, 2017

How To Sext Each College Major

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What is the issue?
22 Jump Street

English

I don’t want to freak you out or anything, but you remind me so much of Vonnegut.

Music

Pick out modulations, write out chord progressions, isolate vocals, harmonize and chill?

Business

Wanna come over and look at some Excel sheets with me and drink?

Women’s And Gender Studies

Okay so tell me what’s wrong with Amy Schumer.

Communications

[all communications majors are athletes who had to declare in order to graduate. i shall not be convinced otherwise.]

wyd?

Pre-Med

Wanna play doctor? Come over.

Political Science

Real talk: what do you actually think about Universal Healthcare and how would we be able to functionally make that happen in the US? Explain.

Journalism

Forget the facts, what do you think about [insert thing they reported on that you clearly, thoroughly read here]?

Film Studies

Fuck, marry, kill? Scorsese, Kubrick, or Hitchcock. And why?

Philosophy

Tell me why I’m wrong. In detail.

Education

I think you’d make a really good mom/dad/parent…

Marketing

What’s your catchphrase? Why should I buy you? Sell yourself, hon.

Psychology

Why shouldn’t we hook up? Speaking in favor of our mental well being, of course.

Computer Science

What’s the first thing you’re going to do when AI takes over?

Pre-Law

Actually…I disagree.
[And then just let it happen.]

Arts

I was just really feeling moved by [insert artist/movement/medium/details here] and I need to talk to someone about it.

Some Foreign Language

Is it clichĂ© to say “voulez-vous coucher avec moi”???
[feel free to adjust for the appropriate language]

Poetry

….so how’ve you been lately? TC mark