What Loving Her Means

Love may be standing, waiting with a bouquet of her most favorite flowers. Love may be walking, fingers intertwined by a sunset. Love may be cuddling, cozied up while just watching TV at home.

Love, for me meant never being able to do all that.

Loving her means having your day lit up by the little things; that grimace she expresses when the puppy she previously extended her warmth to ends up snogging her and that she plays with her hair and sometimes makes into a mane for herself.

Loving her means embracing disappointment. You wish things would turn out how you want them to but loving her means being okay when those expectations fall apart. Actually, you already knew that you were going to be let down but that doesn’t stop you from going through with it anyway.

Loving her means never lying to her. Don’t lie because it is noble. Don’t lie because when she finds out it’ll hurt more than if you did otherwise. And that, you don’t want. Don’t lie because deep down you know that she what you think matters to her in some way or another.

Loving her means doing whatever it takes to make her happy. That’s even when it comes at the expense of yours. Before you do anything you question if “This makes her happy”. It is going to hurt when sometimes your happiness is not hers. But, you are going to put aside tour feelings because you know she is happy. Sometimes in doing that, you are going to fail and you end up a burrito of sadness but you will get back up and try again because you want what makes her happy.

Loving her means being there for her, always. Being there even when you have had a bad day. Being there even when it is difficult. Being there even when it hurts or upsets you. Besides being there for her, you are there because you understand that the pain of not being there far supersedes the pain you will feel in being there. Because your life is much better with than without her.

Loving her is essentially understanding that some part of you will always want her, the good, the bad and the ugly, that a little part of you will always love her. Because after all, in loving her, you had and will only ever give her the best of you.