“This post doesn’t encourage random lurkers/stalkers/pedophiles to stalk/hurt young women. I’m not ‘indirectly contributing to rape culture’ (as one commenter accused me of doing). This post isn’t about the men who gawk and drool over these women, it’s about the women themselves.”
Let’s just read that one again, shall we?
“This post isn’t about the men who gawk and drool over these women, it’s about the women themselves.”
Sounds familiar, yes. Because it is WOMEN who are the problem. HA. Right.
I would love to stop here, but I just cannot control myself. Probably because I’m “too emotional.”
“THEIR self-esteems (or lack thereof) being fueled by the wrong things, and them offering a singular perception of their value. Beauty is great, but it shouldn’t be the only source of your self-confidence.”
Okay, I get it. You think the world revolves around you. It’s okay. You are a man — your knowledge (or lack thereof) is simply being fueled by the wrong things.
“To those young women on Instagram:
You might be beautiful. You might be built. You might love your body and have the confidence to show it proudly…and that’s great. Seriously, I’m happy for you (no sarcasm). In today’s fast-food, overindulged, carbohydrate-addicted world, maintaining a hot figure is challenging, so you get full marks for your efforts and workout regimen. But let’s get real for a minute or two, shall we?”
So, ladies, take note here, EVEN if “maintaining a hot figure is challenging” — don’t be TOO proud of yourself.
“Let’s not kid ourselves. You can look in the mirror and feel proud of your body. You can walk down the street and receive looks and compliments on your beauty. That’s not the reason you’re on Instagram, and it certainly isn’t the reason you’re posing half-naked. If you think that posting these pics is how to be happy with yourself, think again!”
Again, feel free to stare at yourself in your mirror all you want. He gave you permission, so that is A-OK!! Wanna walk down the street and “receive looks and compliments on your beauty?” GO FOR IT! Street harassment for the win! But INSTAGRAM?! No way Jose!
“Posing in a lace bra and a G-string on Instagram doesn’t give the perception that you are a ‘lingerie model,’ it makes you look cheap, like the only value you offer is your body. The psychology behind your behavior in taking these nude pics is very straight-forward: you’re suffering from a lack of self-esteem and are looking externally to make yourself feel good about you. But you’re kidding yourself. It’s called self-esteem because it emanates from the self.”
Again, just for those who were too busy laughing at this line like I was:
“The psychology behind your behavior in taking these nude pics is very straight-forward: you’re suffering from a lack of self-esteem and are looking externally to make yourself feel good about you.”
PLEASE SHOW ME A STUDY CITING THIS. I see from your website you are a “relationship coach.” I didn’t realize you were a Psychologist too?
“And while we’re talking, let’s make something crystal clear: what you’re doing isn’t ‘modeling.’ Victoria Secret models pose on a professional photo set to sell lingerie and associated products for a company. In short, they get paid for modeling. They don’t bare their pink parts dancing to Usher under a fluorescent bathroom light, sporting a pouty duckface with a Toy Story shower curtain as a backdrop. Models work. What the hell are you doing? I’ll tell you: giving peeks of your naked self away to random lurkers/stalkers/pedophiles, that’s what.”
I cannot even respond to half of this because we will be here all day. But, my dear Charles! What you are forgetting is the many, MANY women who do get paid for their Instagram accounts — lace bra’s and all.
“A reality check: Any picture of a naked/half-naked woman will get LOTS of views online. It doesn’t make you special, it makes you an adult film star, but without the paycheck. Nothing wrong with posing nude for kicks or paychecks, if that’s what you want to do. But please stop fooling yourself into thinking that the ‘likes’ and ‘shares’ you get are because they like you. They like the show you are giving them; they don’t care who you are.”
See, this is where you confuse me Charles. Now you are telling all of us women that it is ok, “posing nude for kicks OR paychecks — if that’s what you want to do.”
Aside from basically implying that nudes are cool if the women are sending them TO YOU — My problem here is — IF THE WOMAN POSED NUDE FOR “KICKS OR PAYCHECKS” chances are, THAT’S WHAT SHE WANTED TO DO. SO WHY IS THIS YOUR PROBLEM?? Oh right, because they are doing it for themselves, not for you.
Dear Lord please stop there.
“If you want to be a model, DO IT! Put together a portfolio, pay your dues, and follow your dream. Otherwise, you are shaking your stuff for someone else’s cheap thrill, while pretending it boosts your self-esteem as you get views on your pics. You can choose to be whatever you want to be: a doctor, model, business woman, adult film star, whatever you want. Just do it with some dignity.
Don’t sell your integrity and self-esteem for the price of an affirmative ‘click here if you think my pink parts are pretty!’ You will only attract the wrong kind of guy that way, and you are selling out women everywhere—including my 15-year-old daughter.’”
Did you hear that ladies?! We now have permission to do whatever it is we want to do! Oh, EXCEPT…whatever it is we want to do.
So, Charles, and all men everywhere: Please Stop Telling Women What To Do With Their Bodies.