What’s Your Spirit Animal?
I’m about to move cross-country to start a new job in like, oh, three weeks. I haven’t started packing yet, and whenever I linger too long on the thought of my upcoming journey, I go into some sort of weird, nervous coma and have to lay down and take a nap. One thing I have decided is that I need some sort of hat or piece of jewelry that will be my talisman for strength and the absence of rapes, flat tires, and expensive hotel rooms on my trip. Naturally, this further led to me just taking the next step and attempting to figure out what my spirit animal is. I got three-week old puppy. What did you get?
Oh, I should point out that it’s really important to follow this lady’s instructions exactly. So go ahead and get drunk and take all your teeth out, and then mush some fairies onto your webcam before you start.
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If you’ve been looking for a chance to say something then this very well could be it.
I wish to God I’d had a list like this when I was 23.
Answer phones better than anyone else has answered phones before. Relay messages so brilliant, they bring people to tears. Turn the coffee run into the choreography of Swan Lake. Become best friends with every intern and every underling and every taxi driver you encounter.
I remember taking the pen and notebook from that woman outside the courtroom, flipping to a clean page in the book, and writing, JESSICA IS SAD in big, bold, uncoordinated letters. “My sister is going to be a good writer someday! Look at how nice her lines are!”