“I’m perfectly happy,” he says. He basically means it. It’s another way of saying he wants nothing. One of the greatest benefits of drugs — all desire and want disappear. The ego even dies, leaving just the moment of pure consciousness, whatever that is.
Wolves belong in packs. I once belonged. I had friends. But some wolves are chased out of their groups somehow, venture out on their own. Now my old friends ridicule me from afar; we argue. I am distanced.
In my fantasy, you check your phone while out and step outside to be alone and read this whole thing, your heart beating.
I’m a charming man, easy to fall for but just barely, fleetingly. It becomes clear to women that I am dangerous. I am too critical of everything and everyone, myself included.
How sad is she, exactly? Could she be happy with me?
I feel guilty now, as if I should have known better. For us both.
These characters have played a really big part in the formation of my love life.
Why can’t I just love you the way you need?