July 12, 2013

15 Reasons Why Your Haters Hate You

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What is the issue?

1. Because you have something that they don’t.

Whether is it your new Paco Rabanne fragrance, your new house, your new tattoo or your life in general, you possess something they don’t — and that upsets them. Because they realize that life can be unfair, and that some people can have things or do things in life that others can’t. Perhaps they even desire what you have but don’t quite know how they themselves can achieve those things. When haters can’t figure why they lack the things they lack, or how they can get the things they lack, they become very angry individuals. To help themselves cope with this sense of frustration, they hate. This is how they deal with their feelings of inadequacy and inferiority after comparing themselves with others — by putting it on you.

2. Because they think you don’t deserve it.

They look at your fame, your popularity, your friends, your career, etc., and think that you are not worthy of these things, because they are only looking at things at surface level. They don’t care about the hard work you had put in behind the scenes — your sacrifices, your worries, your fears and the pains you’d gone through. Because they are superficial like that.

3. Because they don’t want to lose to you.

They see life as some kind of competition — who’s more popular, who’s richer, who has more friends, who has more dates, who has the better job, yadda yadda — and they want to win. Their eagerness to do better than you is not based on their zeal towards life, but stems from their fear of losing to you and being seen as failure in their own eyes. They sort of made you their goal, and the further the distance between you and them, the more they hate. That’s why your haters never want to hear that you are doing well in anything.

4. Because they can’t get over the past.

You two had a thing in the past. Perhaps you were close friends but unfortunately fell out. Perhaps you were lovers but things didn’t turn out as planned or expected. Perhaps there was no closure for whatever issue there was between the two of you. Whatever it is, this hater of yours is still bitter about the past. He/she still can’t get over it; he/she is unable to forgive, yet. Well maybe after some time that troubling affair had quietly slipped off his/her mind, but because of the grudge still buried deep inside, whenever he/she gets reminded of you, emotions can run wild all over again. And there go the nasty comments and passive aggressive posts, again.

5. Because they can’t get over you.

You were important to this person and you broke his/her heart. And even after all this time, the wounds never really heal completely, and perhaps, never will. Maybe cognitive dissonance has a part to play in this as well. It is natural instinct to undermine the significance of the things we lose, so as to help us cope with loss and the grief that follows after. Haters overcompensate this aspect — the deeper they loved, the stronger they hate. Haters are people who (still) care, but they do so far too much. Sometimes you could feel that they care more about you and the things you do than you care about yourself, and they care about what other people think of you more than you actually do.

6. Because they have nothing better to do in life.

And we should take pity on them, really. Because for them, besides surfing Tumblr five hours a day, stalking other people’s Facebook and Twitter pages, and posting hateful comments on blogs and YouTube videos, they really don’t have much else to spend their time and energy on. The lowest of them stoop to writing long hate mails. All these activities give them that momentary sense of purpose and achievement in life. Perhaps your haters don’t even really dislike you that much. They just like hating on other people. Hating has sort of become a lifestyle for them. We can only wish them the best.

7. Because their life just ain’t as great and exciting as yours.

It’s true.

8. Because they need attention.

What haters are most afraid of is silence. They feel their existence when they know that you heard their voice. So don’t talk back or argue with them. They would only get more excited. Don’t try to reason with them. Don’t. Even. They won’t bother listening. They just need your response to know that someone actually cares about what they think or what they have to say.

9. Because they can.

Because anonymity allows them to spew nonsense without taking responsibility for it. It is convenient. It is easy. It is cowardice at its finest.

10. Because they are such bigots.

It’s not you. It’s them.

11. Because they are such self-righteous, moral high priests.

No matter, they will always think of themselves as the better person compared to you. They would use your past against you, judge and criticize you using their own morals and values, and dismiss any good that you do. They don’t feel the need for humility when talking to you because they believe that they will always be (more) right. But we all know that such beings do make the biggest hypocrites around.

12. Because they are big green-eyed monsters.

They are jealous people. They curse and wish for your downfall because they want you to lose the things you have that they don’t. They see life as a zero-sum game. They think, perhaps if you lose a couple of friends/fans, they could gain some themselves. And if they can’t have the things you have, they rather you not have them at all as well. They are basically pretty fucked-up human beings.

13. Because they are unhappy with some things in their own life.

And they try to make someone else unhappy too — by being the nuisance that they are. They want to pull you down to their level of unhappiness. They want you to be disturbed and not have peace. If they can’t enjoy their life, they make sure you can’t enjoy yours too.

14. Because they need to put someone down to feel good about themselves.

Read: Self. Esteem. Issues.

15. Because they are, in general, just losers.

But losers who need much love. TC mark

image – Mean Girls

Keay Nigel

Keay Nigel is an aspiring writer who writes too much about love. He thinks he’s a love guru but in truth he still has …

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