To the best friend that got away. The one I made all my pinky promises with and said forever and always to – I’m sorry.
I’m sorry that we couldn’t keep those promises, that forever and always ended. I’m sorry that we no longer sign our cards with BFF.
I’m sorry that this hurts; that this is truth.
We were good together. We had a lot of unforgettable times. We shared a lot of moments. We stuck through a lot of things, thick and thin.
We were inseparable, two peas in a pod. You were the other half to my story; my life.
We promised each other a future. A friendship that we would carry with us forever. We were the ones that always made it through. No matter the distance, the disagreements, or awkward tendencies. We made it through.
We were supposed to grow old together.
You were the one in all my pictures. The pictures I’ll never forget. You were the one that accompanied me on all my family vacations, coffee dates, and beach trips.
You were the one I wanted to share all my life accomplishments with.
You were the one I wanted to be there for me on my good days and bad. The smiles and the tears, I thought it was going to be you.
At some point our story started to fall short. It began to fade away. Slowly, and then all at once. I look back and think, at what point did it all become so hard? At what point did we decide to give up on each other? At what point did the faces in the pictures become so unrecognizable? At what point did we stop choosing each other? When did it become easier to just not be friends at all?
Why was it so easy to walk away?
We gave up on each other. We gave up on our friendship. We no longer had the effort or energy to stay.
We held onto our pride and let go of each other.
There was too much water under the bridge.
I fought for you, you fought for me. Until we both stopped fighting. We both stopped trying. We stopped caring. We stopped needing each other and wanting each other around.
Our lives went on, but we didn’t. Our worlds weren’t changing, we were. We were changing, but we didn’t want to change together. We didn’t bring each other along. We didn’t change together.
Sometimes it hurts, but most of the time it doesn’t.
We held onto this idea of who we thought we should be. This concept of a false friendship. We weren’t willing to let go of the grip we so eagerly held. We were afraid of what might happen. We were afraid of getting to close again, only to watch the other person leave. It was an endless cycle of coming and going. An endless cycle we finally broke.
I feel like there’s things we each must do on our own. Terms we must come to. We must find ourselves apart from one another. I’d like to think that one-day we can be whole again, we can try again. That we can show up for each other and decide to bring each other along.
However, if life has other plans for us and takes us separate places, just know I’m grateful for you. I’m better for knowing you. I’ll always have a place for you in this heart of mine.
I hope your happy and that your life is good. You deserve good.
I hope you know that I’m sorry. That I forgive you. That I miss you.