October 17, 2016

29 Things The Guy At Your Startup Loves To Talk About

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What is the issue?

1. Aesthetic.

2. How he doesn’t need to eat solid food because he drinks Soylent.

3. Unless he’s doing Paleo.

4. That he used his sleeping app to wake him up at 4:30am (optimal REM cycles achieved) and then switched to his meditation app and meditated for 90 minutes this morning. You woke up at 6am and should feel unaccomplished.

5. His admiration for co-working spaces.

6. Because he’s “working remotely” and considers himself a “digital nomad.”

7. His definitive ranking of co-working spaces (ahem, curated communities). The best ones always have cold brew and imported beer.

8. And he appreciates the perpetual availability of the communal beanbag chairs.

9. “Think tanks.”

10. How networking events give him a high.

11. Because he’s technically CEO (but also so is everyone else at the startup).

12. Stand-up desks.

13. Ergonomically correct keyboards.

14. TechCrunch.

15. Prefacing things with “soooooo this is what’s happening in the tech world.”

16. That one motivational book he read about living your best life and it being ok that you dropped out of college, and then making his entire staff read it too.

17. How you should check out the newest app he created, because it’s totally got a cult following already.

18. How much better it is for his posture to sit on an exercise ball rather than a regular chair.

19. Scheduling things depending on when he thinks he’ll be “feeling it.”

20. This applies, also, for his work hours.

21. Love for new Mac systems.

22. Shitting on BuzzFeed.

23. How he pays $34.99 for a fitness app.

24. “Authentic flow of ideas.”

25. Referring to Mark Zuckerberg as just “Zuck.”

26. Claiming to read a book a week. Always Malcolm Gladwell or something related to Stoicism.

27. How efficient noise-canceling headphones are.

28. That he has an unlimited vacation policy (but he’s actually too scared to take advantage of it).

29. Bragging about “transparency trends,” which just means he unflinchingly tells people how much money he’s making. TC mark

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