Thought Catalog
May 19, 2014

35 Thoughts I Had At My First Renaissance Faire

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1. Huzzah. Lots and lots of huzzahs.

2. Are all these people really drunk? Or do they just act drunk, all day long?

3. More boobs then I ever want to see in my life again.

4. Ok, this joust is LEGIT.

5. DID THAT JOUSTER REALLY JUST KILL A KID.

6. Yup. There’s blood. That just happened. Man, this joust is intense. WHY DO I LOVE THIS SO MUCH.

7. Turkey Legs, it’s more the novelty than the taste.

8. But when a Viking approaches you about said turkey leg, go ahead and give him the rest of it. Vikings get hungry too.

9. Corn on the cob on the other hand will CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

10. More boobs.

11. Most of these shows are iffy at best, but you gotta give props to their energy.

12. Those wenches though… *insert clapping emoji here*

13. Alright lady I really don’t have the extra money to give you a tip, but no one wants to be that person who breaks the tipping streak…

14. You made me freaking gobble for my food. Literally. That’s gotta be worth WAY more than a tip…

15. Ugh fine, HAZZAH TO THE GENEROUS TIPPER.

16. I bet those fairies have gigs as mimes for their day jobs. They’ve got those moves DOWN.

17. Stand back peasants, the Queen is coming. In a fancy chair. Carried by all her burliest men.

18. I wonder what you have to do to be the Queen at a Renaissance Faire.

19. There’s not much I wouldn’t do to be carried around all day and waited on hand & foot.

20. Homegirl knows what’s up.

21. When you see people with green body paint all over their body, don’t question it, just accept it.

22. Even more boobs.

23. Sure I’ll shoot a bow & arrow for 5 bucks, how hard can it be?

24. HOW DOES KATNISS DO THIS ALL THE TIME?!

25. Those flower crowns are so cute! Lemme try one on.

26. I’m sorry, $40 for this? FOR THIS? No thanks pal.

27. Oh wait, that one has grapes on it. I actually really want that.

28. I just won’t eat any dinner for the next week! TOTALLY WORTH IT.

29. Oh look a bird show.

30. Is that a vulture?!

31. HOLY JAMOLY IT JUST ATE A CHICKEN LEG IN 6 SECONDS. That was terrifying(ly awesome).

32. Oh look more food. Go big or go home right?!

33. If I see one more Captain Jack Sparrow I’m gonna lose it.

34. Kudos to the guy in full body armor though. You do you fella.

35. Boobs. TC mark

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