September 28, 2011

Things I Learned From Having A Step Dad

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What is the issue?

I have a dad and a step dad, but I guess in a sense they’re both my dad, which is sort of awkward, in its way. My step dad came into my life when I was a child, and I was lucky I got a good one. Here are some things I’ve learned in the 20-odd years he’s been in my life.

  • Life changes that take you by surprise are terrible when you’re happy with the status quo
  • Resenting someone who wants your approval only makes them be nicer to you
  • Sharing mum is no fun
  • Being a resentful, shitty child at a wedding will not, in fact, make that wedding stop
  • Using birthday wishes to will your parents back together is futile and, in turn, a complete waste of birthday wishes
  • Getting two new little brothers really makes for complicated birthday wishing, considering you want to keep them
  • Persistence kindness toward me will wear me down
  • I can also be worn down by being taught to ride bikes, swim, and do math
  • Mum being happy makes me happy
  • My biological father is not perfect
  • No one is perfect
  • Family is more than just a sperm and an egg
  • Having two dads is better than having no dads
  • Dads will normally side with you over mum, so now you have two allies when you’re asking to go to that party on Saturday night
  • Being called ‘daughter’ consistently and in the company of strangers by someone you have not been particularly pleasant towards makes even the toughest disposition sweat with guilt
  • Being loved by someone who doesn’t have to love you is sincerely humbling
  • It’s very nice to have two wonderful men who love you unconditionally and unequivocally
  • Accidentally calling step dad “dad” in front of biological dad is awkward
  • Accidentally calling biological dad by step dad’s name is doubly awkward
  • All dads, whether they’re yours by blood or marriage, are going to annoy you with the same moronic jokes
  • All dads in turn think these jokes are funny
  • Trying to figure out who is going to walk you down the aisle when you get married can be very consuming, even though you don’t have a boyfriend
  • You can be overly demanding of men, but it’s only because you’ve been so blessed by the men who have raised you. TC mark
image – Andrew Hayward
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