September 6, 2011

Remember This: 7 Awesomely Melodramatic Break-Up Songs From The 90s

Nothing gives you perspective quite like some serious melodrama. Breaking up? Turn up the volume on the cheesiest of cheese (and what better decade than the 90s) and use the intensity to giggle at yourself and your over wrought sobbing. It’s going to be OK. If Toni made it through the crying in the shower scene, you can too.

1. Toni Braxton – “Un-break My Heart”

With the second most famous on screen shower scene ever, Toni Braxton gives ‘heartbreak’ a whole new meaning. I know her fella dies in the video, but “Un-Break My Heart” is somewhat of an anthem to the kind of crazed parting that comes from an all-consuming relationship.

2. Bryan Adams & Mel C – “Baby When You’re Gone”

Don’t be fooled by the peppy beat—this is serious stuff. Bordering on psychotic obsession, Sporty and Bri really amp the suffering in “Baby When You’re Gone.” But then again, Mr. Adams has never really skimped on the melodrama.

3. N’Sync – “I Drive Myself Crazy”

The story here seems to be that 5 heartbroken guys are so messed up by their breakups that they end up institutionalized. Glamorizing mental illness, much? And what I want to know in their context is if there is a suggestion of domestic violence or risk of suicide—otherwise I’d question exactly why is they need straight jackets. The most confusing and decidedly dramatic part of it all however, is Justin Timberlake’s hair.

4. Sinead O’Connor – “Nothing Compares To You”

I give Sinead points for being ‘raw’ and ‘babe’ but really, I can think of about 6 things completely off the top of my head that compare to you. Talk about creating a hopeless situation, Sinead.

5. Boyz II Men – “End Of The Road”

Guys! Naw! Maybe if you didn’t spend all your time sitting on backwards chairs around a piano in black and white you could have saved your relationship! And what’s all this hoopla about ‘belonging’ to each other? Do people really say these sorts of things when they’re breaking up? And if so why isn’t breaking up funnier?

6. Mariah Carey – “Without You”

Sorry Mariah, but the Ken Lee phenomenon added a whole new dimension of hilarity to “Without You.” The sentiment here is so grand it’s completely ridiculous and foolhardy. Although I guess we’ve all been once or twice in bed, drooling over the pillow we’re clutching, thinking the exact same thing. Declaring it, however, is a whole new level of lid flipping.

7. Az Yet – “Hard To Say I’m Sorry”

From the boys who bought us my favourite sexy-times anthem “Last Night” Az Yet compound drama with more drama, fail to apologize, and look pretty pansy begging their women to hold them. Man up guys—TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY. TC mark

You should follow Thought Catalog on Twitter here.