Thought Catalog
April 14, 2017

3 Ways To Take Back The Self-Worth You Thought He Took Away From You

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What is the issue?
Larm Rmah

As they say, love is unconditional. If you are a believer of this and live by it, you usually seem stupid. You become stupid. You’ve fallen in love with someone who cannot commit and then you end up being disenchanted as he fails your expectations.

He often leaves you in grey areas where you ask yourself: Am I not that beautiful? Don’t I deserve to be treated special? Is that too much for me to ask? Did I do something wrong? But you carry on. You still choose to overlook his intermittent shortcomings. You still choose to outpour your love even if you’re shortchanged. You choose to be a martyr.

However, you have to remember that you exist with worth that shouldn’t be degraded by anyone—even by unconditional love. Take your worth back by considering these means:

Be brave enough to open your eyes and look at your shattered heart

Ponder on how mangled your heart has become and don’t hesitate to admit to yourself that you’ve let him destroy it. Think of the times when he failed to make you happy when you were doleful. Why deem him as your source of joy when what he actually gives you is pain? He just exacerbates the sadness. Remember how he wasn’t willing to pick you up from work and bring you home? You never asked from then on because you know he will barely do that.

What about the times you had the hunch that he intended not to answer your calls and you were dying to hear his voice? He wasn’t even sorry about that, was he? And oh, those dinner and movie dates that you begged for but he deprived you of the favor? Girl, you didn’t even have to ask for it. Look at yourself in the mirror. Your face sags of nocturnal stress. You cry every 2 a.m. and think about how he has changed from being sweet to being cold.

Don’t ignore the situations wherein you’ve been taken for granted. Collect them and let its weight drift you away from the toxic relationship you’re defending.

Realize that being in a relationship doesn’t complete the puzzle of your life

Having been envious with friends in blissful romances, you decided to keep on working your nasty relationship out. You never believe that destiny is there to help you find its way to the right man. You believe that it’s your choice to make it meaningful with your current partner. And because you choose to condone that person, you will try your best to resolve every problem even if he remains passive. You won’t mind because you know a big part of your life will disappear if you let him go.

That is not true. You are the missing puzzle of your life. Once it dawns on you that you can live without the aid of any person, that’s the time when you can opportunely let other people enter your life because you know that whether their stay is transitory or permanent, you’re already complete. You don’t need anyone. Even him.

Remind yourself of how lovely you are and believe that God wants the best for you

Come on. Don’t shoo away the thoughts about those guys who’ve shown how they admire you. It’s not because they could replace him, but because you need to remind yourself of how adorable you are. Your bloom deserves the purest attention of people because you are beautiful inside and out—you are worthy to be lavishly loved. And of course, never forget that even if you have that free will to choose whom you want to be with for the rest of your life, God has the best for you and believe me, you will feel that especially if you pray for it.

Now let me ask you: do you think he is the one that God desires for you? After all the heartaches? After having overlooked your worth? Think about it then go. Take it back. Take it back from that person who doesn’t deserve your unconditional love. TC mark

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