25 Facts About Turning 25 That Will Make You Feel Weird
Being 25 Means…
1. You’re older than the singer in “What’s My Age Again?” (“And that’s about the time she walked away from me / Nobody likes you when you’re 23″)
2. According to Ladytron’s song “Seventeen,” you’re four years past being no fun, and eight years past being wanted (“They only want you when you’re seventeen / when you’re twenty-one / you’re no fun.” )
3. You’re three years too old to dress up like hipsters and make fun of your exes (just ask Taylor Swift). You’re probably too old to be happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time, too.
4. You’re two years younger than Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain, and Amy Winehouse were when they died.
5. You’re old enough to rent a car and get a car insurance discount.
6. You’re too old to try out for The Real World.
7. You’re still younger than James Van Der Beek was when Dawson’s Creek ended, Stacey Dash in Clueless, Alan Ruck in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Keiko Agena in Gilmore Girls, and Rachel McAdams in Mean Girls, all of whom were playing high school students.
8. You’re old enough to be elected to the United States House of Representatives.
9. You’re still too young to become President of the United States (which is the only thing holding you back, right?).
10. You’re no longer part of the coveted 18-24 demographic.
11. Manganese has the same number of protons as I have years under your belt.
12. There is a separate character in Mario Kart Wii and Super Smash Bros. Melee for each year of your life.
13. You were (probably) born the same year as Rihanna, Haley Joel Osment, Rupert Grint, Adele, Derrick Rose, and Skrillex.
25 years ago…
14. Rain Man won Best Picture at the Oscars.
15. We had a leap year.
16. The Winter Olympics were held in Calgary.
17. Windows 2.1 was released.
18. The Morris Worm became the first computer virus to be distributed over the internet.
19. RU-486 and Prozac were released.
20. Al Qaeda was founded.
21. Stephen Hawking published A Brief History of Time, which means your entire lifetime is excluded from his history of time.
22. Photoshop went on the market.
23. The first Pi Day was observed.
24. The most popular song of the year was “Faith” by George Michael. Number four that year was “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley.
25. The most popular TV shows were Roseanne and The Wonder Years, one of which was an awesome show.
I don’t know if this list should make you feel older or younger. On the one hand, it might be crazy that you’re too old to try out for The Real World. On the other hand, if Haley Joel Osment is the same age as you, you’re practically still in diapers.
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I look at the empty chair
My hand would have been on your thigh
I would be kissing you
1. Everything becomes normal if you do it long enough.
My Uncle Took Me On A Weird Bird Watching Trip And It Turned Out To Be Something Completely Different
“Alright boys, this is it,” my uncle said as the other two guys started unloading a bunch of supplies.
I will never EVER be a nanny again.