The Small Town Life Of Creative Rednecks

It’s 10:00 at night, your curfew is 1:00, and you’re with your three best friends. We aren’t old enough to buy alcohol and all of our 21 year old siblings are gone having way too much fun without you. The nearest theatre is an hour away. The nearest bowling alley is 45 minutes away. What to do?

Living in a small town is harder than most would think. We have to be very creative individuals. Unfortunately everyone will always think we are rednecks, even though I wear my combat boots and listen to alternative music, people will always and forever refer to me as a “redneck from down in Alabama.” This is mostly because we have to find the most redneck, country folk things to do to stay entertained.

Dirt road riding is your best friend. We have twice as many dirt roads as paved roads. On a dirt road your redneck wanna be nascar driver can drive as fast as they want to in their loud ass jacked up Chevy. They can do doughnuts and do fishtails in every clearing. Dirt road riding can last for hours. With some country music from the early 2000’s playing and everyone in the truck smoking non-stop until the adventure is over.

Bonfires. Let’s start us up a fire, back our trucks up to it, and if we are lucky enough to find someone who will buy us some Natural Light let’s get drunk AF around this fire. It’s sad but it’s true. That’s what we do.

Road signs are for more than just finding which road to take. They are for pure boredom. Pull up to a dirt road with a really cool name like “blue flame rd ” or “slaughter mill dr.” Make sure no one is coming down the road and hit that shit with a baseball bat. Then take the green sign and hang it on your bedroom wall like it’s a trophy. If you are a stronger guy or girl you can always just wiggle the whole sign pole out of the ground and pop the sign right off the top. This makes for a better looking sign to hang in your trophy room.

Living in a dry county with absolutely nothing around can make some pretty damn creative rednecks.