There Are Things I Never Got To Tell You And I Regret Every Single One Of Them

there are things i never got
to tell you and i convince myself
every single day that i didn’t
have the chance, that i never had
the chance to let you know
but the truth is,
i never had the courage to.
i could only utter them
in my dreams and whisper them
in the darkness of the night.
i could only wish that the
corners of my room could keep
all my secrets and that the walls
wouldn’t shake from the weight
of my confessions on its shoulders.
i could only stare at the ceiling and
wonder about you
and how you could consume the entirety
of my thoughts.
and even after all those 3 ams i almost
called to tell you but ended up
pulling my words back into my mouth,
i still wonder.
i still think of you.
i still ask myself
of what we could’ve been,
if i had told you.
because you are
my greatest what if,
my biggest almost.
and i never had the
courage to let
you know.