October 19, 2016

Love, Real Love, Is Doing Something For Them With No Benefits For Yourself

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What is the issue?
via Unsplash - Alejandra Quiroz
via Unsplash – Alejandra Quiroz

It’s a Friday afternoon, my one day off. I enjoy every second of it by sleeping in and planning to binge on Netflix and snacks. But my boyfriend invites me to a concert, I am tired, bloated and totally not feeling it. He understands and tells me to enjoy my day off and relax.

But I feel bad. We have been together for six years and I believe he’s my “forever person” so I begin to ponder if I should go or not. Being in a long relationship like I have means that sometimes you have to do things you really don’t want to for the other’s happiness.

He told me I don’t have to be with him all the time, that he understands and wants me to be happy. But I know deep down inside if I do not go, what kind of girlfriend does that make me?

Not everyone will agree with my thought and answer, but he has been by my side as I dragged him to every chick flick and dealt with the aftermath of tears that usually follows the end of the movie. I am sure he didn’t want to be there, but he chose to sit by my side and not complain.

When you have been together for so long, doing things for one another isn’t even a question; however, if you start to ponder whether or not you want to do these things perhaps this is not the right person for you. I am at my happiest when he is happy, even if that means taking my day off to be somewhere I don’t especially feel like being.

But I love him, how can I expect him to stand by my side as I try on different swatches of lipstick if I cannot be with him for a couple of hours at a concert. It’s all about being equal and sharing. I know I have made the right choice when I tell him I have decided to go. He’s happy, I can hear it in the tone of his voice. If you really love him/her then a simple task of doing something for your significant other doesn’t seem so bad at all.

I’m bloated, have two pimples on my face and the last thing I feel like is listening to thumping music in my ear. But I have concealer, a baggy shirt and the one I love who is beyond thrilled I am there. Relationships aren’t perfect and mine is far from that. But a healthy relationship, one where you want to spend your lives together means doing something you don’t want.

So I am attending, doing something for him with no benefits for myself. In my opinion that’s love, real love. TC mark

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