I hold a can of beer in one hand and tissue in the other. Unfortunately, I find myself crying most of the time nowadays, wondering if I’m on the right path, wondering how come this all feels so wrong, wondering why no matter how much I put my heart into the things that I do now, it makes me unbelievably wretched. It makes me sick to the gut.
Supposedly, this path that I’m on is my dream, a dream I had since I was a little girl, but dreams aren’t supposed to make you feel like this, a feeling of despair everyday, no motivation to get through the week because everything makes you unhappy. Unmindful of how things were going for myself, I pushed through, I didn’t bother changing the state that I was in, because I am so near the finish line and I was scared to start again.
Until one day, I realized that saving yourself from an unruly predicament is what you need to do if something that’s supposed to make you feel happy, well, rather makes you feel the lowest you’ve ever been.
Don’t listen to other people when they tell you how unfortunate it is that you’re “quitting” because you’re not quitting – you’re just finally saving yourself from a hollow that wasn’t there in the first place, that eventually started brewing up because you were on the wrong road. The thing is, I’m young, I am so young, and full of life, and I am not supposed to be this sad, and when you realize how blessed you are with the gift of youth, you won’t bother thinking twice about leaving behind what was never meant for you in the first place.
There are a million other things to explore in this world rather than staying in a place where you feel like you’re drowning, and unable to breathe.
So do that. Find what makes you get up in the morning and find what hones you to be the best version of yourself. Stop listening to other people because it is not their life and evidently, it’s not their decision to make. If you ever find yourself on a path where it becomes so toxic that you feel like you’ve lost yourself, then run and never look back honey.
Who cares if you’re making the wrong decision? Wrong decisions help you become stronger and tougher to face the world on your own.
So find what feels right, and good vibrations will chase you as you chase your whatever it is that your heart desires. Never forget that we are all so young, so it’s never too late to change the path that we are on. It’s your life, so live it now, and live it well.