Remember the first time we met after a year or two? It was awkward yet amazing. It was full of ‘how are yous’ and ‘I missed yous’ in between silent stares and sweet smiles. It felt like time stopped for us for a while to give ourselves a chance to remember all that we were and give ourselves a chance to leave all the could have beens and give ourselves a chance to welcome all that what is. It was a dream come true for the both of us.
Remember that day – yes, THAT day – when our souls touched for the first time after seven long years? It felt melancholic and magical at the same time. It took you heartbreaks and it took me false hopes before we finally shared that moment we both want to fly to Neverland. It was the day we held hands and both jumped to the beauty of our unknown. It was the day we risked the years behind us and took the fall. It was the day we caught each other hoping that this time it will be forever.
But just like magic, there seemed to be a dark spell lurking around us. Until the universe seemed to cast it on us and we shattered into million pieces of whys and hows and nos. Only to find out that it is you who invited the bad luck. Now we were bones breaking and minds losing and hearts failing.
We turned to be lovers in each others’ fantasies and quickly turned to be ghosts in each others’ memories. But tonight I am visiting your grave that is freshly made and touching your name that is newly engraved. Tonight there were traces that someone came over before me. But I am still offering you flowers and leaving you these notes.
“I miss you.”
“I still love you.”