The Non-Chronological (Or Any Sort Of Logical) History Of Mankind
Do they believe in democracy?
- “Only if you are white, land-owning, and have a penis”: The Greek Empire/ U.S.A. 1865
- “No, make them”: U.S.A, since McCarthy.
- “Yes and we need that freedom to prosper”: Majority of African people, last 150 years
- “No but we do need some foreign-aid money”: African leaders, for last 150 years
- “Perhaps, too bad the king doesn’t”: Medieval
Does he trust the scientific method over religious doctrine?
- “Not necessarily, just stating the facts”: Darwin
- “Um, they are the same thing”: The Greek Empire
- “Yes, don’t you?”: Match
- “No”: ChristianMingle
- “We’re not sure, let’s just lock him up until he dies”: Galileo
- “One doesn’t believe science, imbecile”: Dawkins
- “Uh, they are the same thing”: Tom Cruise
Does he fuck men?
- “Tie him to the stake and burn him”: Most of history, much of the world today
- “Yes, but only if it is to thank him for intellectual stimulation because we haven’t yet medicalized sexuality enough to believe there is any great difference between the many sorts of physical romance”: The Greek Empire
- “Yes, give him a TV show”: U.S.A, about 8 years ago
- “Yeah but he is too afraid to tell anyone”: SNAFU
Do you like music?
- “Um, you mean poetry?”: The Greek Empire
- “Yay”: Elizabethan
- “Yeah”: Today
- “Probably”: Future
- “Totally”: 1960s
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Being married is a funny thing. We take someone we love and are so excited about and then we make them ordinary.
See, I’m a Hispanic male working as a software developer.
To say that my father died would often send an adult in search of the chink in my armor, the loose thread, the thing that would unravel me in a puddle of mourning. But there is no chink, no thread, no visible scar. My grief is ordinary and well worn.
“I went up to a girl in college and asked her how long she’s liked the Ramones and asked her what her favourite song was. She told me I was stupid as ‘Ramones’ is a brand, Not a band.”