Thought Catalog
February 17, 2017

I Didn’t Let You Go, I Set You Free

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Larm Rmah
Larm Rmah

Those were the days when hours were like minutes, and minutes were like seconds. The days, where we can’t live without each other’s touch. Moments when I thought that all I needed in this life was you.

I remembered the first time I met you, I was sitting by a barrier and you passed by and said “hi”. Who would have thought that “hi”, the simplest most basic word uttered by a stranger, will soon turn into the man whose words, thoughts, actions will mean the world to me.

I remembered when you asked if I could be your girlfriend in the sincerest way I could possibly think of. No need for roses or balloons because you’re already enough.

It was you, you all along. You were in my mind, my heart, and my life in a way that nobody can take away from me.

Hurtful words from people were like rocks thrown at me. I can’t understand why they don’t want you for me. I can’t accept hearing those words from the people whom I thought will support me. You meant everything to me and that they’ll never understand.

Those words left wounds but was healed by you. You cured me, in a way I never thought you possibly could. We’ve spent days, months, and years together thinking that “I do” is ours to keep.

Until you started falling apart while I was struggling to mend you from completely breaking. I thought it was just a phase where I had to prove that a heartbreak is not enough to pull me away from you. I thought it was just a phase, something that will pass, but it never did.

The look on your eyes changed. Your hugs started to lack warmth, you held me like you didn’t want to. I was slipping away from you. In a way you wanted to.

You utter “I love you” just for the sake of it. You started to feel less thrilled about seeing me, and important dates don’t even matter anymore. From surprise visits and long messages to unreturned calls and unprepared anniversaries.

I felt like it was not me anymore and I wish you would have told me. I would rather deal with the truth than be stabbed by a lie. I would rather you tell me that she makes you happy than tell me that I mean the world to you even when we both know that I don’t anymore.

I knew I had to let you go not because I didn’t love you but because I did. Setting you free was an untold truth when you unloved me. TC mark

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