Revisiting Our Work From Home Policy
Employees may not make the rabbit ear air quotations when telling coworkers they are “working from home” tomorrow.
Although it cannot be monitored, there is a direct correlation between at-home pornography and decreased profits, which is why bonuses are down 31 percent this year.
Taking conference calls while running errands is frowned upon unless the errand involves an emergency room.
90-minute walks are not considered “clearing one’s head.” They are considered “unemployment.”
Changing from sweatpants into khakis can no longer be cited as reason for needing a coffee break.
As in the office, alcohol consumption is prohibited. “Couple of beers” does not bring just the right amount of levity to afternoon meetings as some assume.
Post-The View until pre-Judge Judy is not acceptable working hours.
Do not bring up how productive you are from your home office. We’re willing to overlook your laziness if you don’t rub our faces in it.
Couch casual is not a dress code. It’s called pajamas and should not be lauded as efficient.
Effective immediately, no more expensing toilet paper, M&Ms or Netflix.
Telecommuters may not phone human resources to complain about themselves.
Those working remotely are not eligible to call work to find out what’s going on. Office gossip is reserved for those who bother to show up.
Should you injure yourself in your home office, workers compensation is not available unless your injury is filmed, loaded to YouTube and receives at least 700,000 views.
Going forward managers are no longer discussing what is and what is not proper hygiene.
Office messengers cannot stop by Chipotle on the way.
How dare you mention to us needing an ergonomic chair.
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Once you’ve told someone your secrets, fears, and dreams, it’s nothing to tell them to go a little to the left.
It’s Woman’s Day In Ukraine. Here’s What That Means For The Mothers And Daughters Living With Revolution.
We are all here today because of the women that stood by their husbands, brothers, children, friends, and did whatever they could not do. We’re all in this together – in Ukraine and across the world.
I am both Scottish and British. I was born into the best of both worlds, with the freedom to switch between them as I choose. Who would threaten that? Why? Like my new friend wanted to know, what the hell is going on?
What are you going to do with this time you “save” speed reading? Work more? Watch more TV? Respond to email? Ugh. By doing this you miss out on all the ancillary benefits of reading: peace, quiet and concentration. Don’t toss that out.