13 Ridiculous Quotes From Celebrities You Know And Love

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1. Rick Ross on losing 100 pounds:

“I eat pears now and shit.”

2. Sylvester Stallone on art or reincarnation…We aren’t sure which:

“The only happy artist is a dead artist, because only then you can’t change. After I die, I’ll probably come back as a paintbrush.”

3. Gwyneth Paltrow on nutrition:

“I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin.”

4. Ryan Lochte on himself:

“Douchebag? I don’t even know. What is it? What is the definition of it?”

5. Rick Santorum on running the country:

“The middle class. Since when in America do we have classes? That’s Marxism talk.”

6. Tila Tequila on personal character:

“I never said I hated anyone, but just because I feel sympathy, compassion, and forgiveness for others such as Hitler means I am now a monster? All for trying to open your eyes to the truth that Hitler was NOT as bad as he was painted out to be?”

7. Fox News’ Megyn Kelly on historical accuracy:

“For all you kids watching at home, Santa just is white… Just because it makes you uncomfortable doesn’t mean it has to change. Jesus was a white man, too.”

8. Arnold Schwarzenegger on missing the point:

“I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.”

9. George W. Bush on his peers:

“They misunderestimated me.”

10. BONUS George W. Bush on the Google:

“Occasionally. One of the things I’ve used on the Google is to pull up maps. It’s very interesting to see — I’ve forgot the name of the program — but you get the satellite, and you can — like, I kinda like to look at the ranch. It reminds me of where I wanna be sometimes.”

11. Kanye West on being modest:

“I realize that my place and position in history is that I will go down as the voice of this generation, of this decade. I will be the loudest voice.”

12. Brooke Shields on the afterlife?:

“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost an important part of your life.”

13. Yogi Berra on the path of time:

“Predictions are difficult, especially about the future.”

This post originally appeared at Writtalin.