November 21, 2016

Why Relationship Closure Is So Important If You Want To Move On

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Christopher Windus
Christopher Windus

Relationship closure is the most crucial factor in being able to get over a breakup easily. In any recovery process there are 5 stages:

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance

In psychology circles, this is known as the Kübler-Ross model. And in order to successfully recover you must go through each one AND complete it.

Why You Must Get Relationship Closure Right Now

Ideally you would meet with your ex and get closure from them directly but this is not always possible to do in some cases. In my book, I show how to get relationship closure without necessarily having to get it directly from your ex.

Whichever way you get closure, it’s important to remember it’s importance.The absence of closure in a relationship can result in the following:

  • Pain: A lot of pain for the person who was dumped because he or she is left hanging and wondering. They may also have no idea about what were the reasons why his or her partner left. And could possibly make him or her feel inadequate and unlovable.
  • Rejection: Feelings of rejection and that he or she is incapable of doing the right things. Though a person would still get involved with someone else, there might always be this thought inside the head that his or her new partner would also leave in the end. He or she could possibly hold back his or her feelings, which is unhealthy because the other person might come to believe that he or she is not being loved. In the end, the previously abandoned party could end up doing to the new partner what his or her ex has done.
  • Inability to move on: The abandoned party might not be able to move on. When the person who left comes back, he or she might take him or her back. But possibly to be only left again, taken for granted and be treated like trash or a doormat.

So how can I get relationship closure?

People who were not able to get the closure that they need often feel resentment for their previous partners and suspicion for future partners. If you are one of them and you feel that there is no way for your ex to reappear, there is still hope. You can still get your closure by:

  • Writing a letter: Scribbling down all your feelings of fear, anger or grief can be healing for you. It is better for you to express all these negative emotions rather than suppressing them. Write down how badly hurt you were. Let it all out. It doesn’t matter what or how you write, just do it. And when you’re done, burn the letter. This would make you feel as if you’ve released a very heavy burden and you’d feel good afterwards.
  • Forgiving: It may be difficult to forgive, especially if someone did you wrong. But then, who are you really hurting with your feelings of anger? You are not causing distress to the other person but rather only to yourself. So the more resentment you harbour, the more you get stuck with what happened. And the more you are not able to move forward with your life. So find it in your heart to learn to forgive.

Closure is needed in every break up. But the absence of your ex doesn’t necessarily mean that you wouldn’t be able to tie the loose ends on your own. TC mark

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