23 Things You’ll Undoubtedly Hear When You Visit Los Angeles
By Johanna Mort
1. “Can you read my screenplay?”
2. “I ran into Kim Kardashian at Urth this morning and we had a moment over the Stevia.”
3. “So my Pilates instructor, who’s like best friends with Jennifer Aniston, said that I totally have the build to be an extra and then move on to bigger roles.”
4. Blah blah blah “The Industry” blah blah
5. “I can’t eat that, I’m on a juice cleanse.”
6. “I’ll have the vegetarian pizza with gluten-free crust and vegan cheese.”
7. “Wanna hike Runyon tomorrow?”
8. “I can only stay for two hours because then I have to move my car.”
9. “I’m crewing for my friend’s short film this weekend.”
10. “That’s why I don’t date actors anymore.”
11. “I can’t stand hipsters, but I really love the hipster aesthetic.”
12. “It’s soooo cold! It’s only like sixty-eight degrees out today!”
13. “I only buy organic produce from the farmer’s market.”
14. “I was going to take the 405 over here, but traffic is a nightmare right now, so I cut through Beverly Glen.”
15. “Today’s my cheat day, so I’m getting some froyo later.”
16. “Oh, you would LOVE the Bikram studio I go to!”
17. “We should do a web series!”
18. “I only smoke to lose weight.”
19. “It took me fifteen minutes of circling the block to finally find a parking spot.”
20. “We met at an improv class!”
21. “I only hike Griffith when I feel like being a tourist.”
22. “Wait! Don’t eat yet, I haven’t Instagrammed this yet.”
23. “Sorry I’m late, I was stuck on the 101 for an hour.”