Thought Catalog
May 12, 2017

To The People Who Never Leave Our Side, Thank You

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What is the issue?
Meiying Ng

I’m sorry for always pushing you away. I’m sorry for always telling you that i’m okay even when you know I’m not.

I know that you hate the fact that I always compare myself to other people even though I am the most beautiful girl in your eyes. I know that it breaks your heart whenever I accuse you of not loving me even if that’s all you ever do. I’m sorry for always being afraid to lose you no matter how many times you reassure me..

It’s just that I know that there are a thousand other girls who are much more worthy of your love. I know that you deserve so much more than what I can give. You deserve someone who showers you with kisses every time you give a compliment and not someone who looks down and frowns, doubting if what you said was true.

I’m scared to lose you because I know that you deserve better and I’m afraid that sooner or later, you’d realize it for yourself.

I’m sorry for always brining up your ex. I know that there is nothing in this world you want more than to move on with your life with me – but, I keep asking you questions about her and how she was with you. It’s just that I wanna be more than she was. I wanna give more than what she gave. I wanna make you happier than she made you.

I’m sorry for always wanting things to be perfect that I always end up over-thinking things. I know that your happiness is simple and that you really only want to spend quality time with me but I make us do so many things because I’m scared you might get bored with me.

I want you to know that no matter how many times I say I wanna be alone, it really only means that I need you beside me because you’re the only one who knows how to make me feel better.

I’m sorry for being insensitive of your needs that I don’t notice that it’s been all about me. But, nonetheless, you don’t say a word because you don’t want to ask for anything. I’m sorry for all the times you had to say no to your friends because you had to take care of me.

I’m sorry for being so insecure with everyone and for arguing with you about all the reasons why I’m ugly. I know that you will never get tired or reassuring me but also know how much you wish I could see what you see in me.

I’m sorry for taking you for granted and letting my emotions get the best of me. For always breaking up with you because I know that you deserve better even if you tell me I’m all you need. I’m sorry for never listening to you and choosing to listen to the lies in my head. I’m sorry that you have to end up frustrated before I listen to you and you always end up being right. It’s just that its so hard to believe that I’m everything you say I am because all I see is one big mess.

But, thank you.

Thank you for tirelessly reminding me of how much you love me. Thank you for telling me that no one can compare to me – not even your ex. Thank you for always holding my hand in public, no matter how sweaty our hands can get just so you can show me off to the world. Thank you for always choosing a romantic movie over a horror movie you’ve been wanting to see because you know I’d be so scared. Thank you for always eating in my favorite restaurant even though you wanna try out new ones. Thank you for choosing a quiet life with me rather than a fun life with your friends. Thank you for always choosing to stay home even though you get invited to all the parties.

For loving every imperfection and always seeing the good in me. Thank you for embracing my insecurities and for making sure I know that you think I am beautiful and that’s what matters. For encouraging me to step out onto to the world and for holding my hand throughout my journey so I won’t get scared.

Thank you for always putting me first.

Thank you for choosing me everyday even though there is someone a lot better than me. Thank you for fighting for me even if I give you every reason to give up and leave.

I don’t know what I did to deserve you but please never leave me. TC mark