Thought Catalog
July 26, 2016

Being Single Isn’t The End Of The World

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What is the issue?
 ninasever
ninasever

I’d rather not attempt to fall in love because it’s just easier to be alone than get your heart-broken. But I also thoroughly enjoy being by myself it gives me a chance to get to know myself on levels I never even knew existed. It’s a toss-up, it’s either we’re seen as lonely and bitter which is ‘oh so sad’ OR we’re actually happy alone and people don’t understand it.

We say love sucks but it’s not love that sucks it’s the things that come with it. The falling out of love, the loving someone who doesn’t love you back, or being in love with someone who’s wrong for you and doesn’t make you happy.

Dating sucks but unfortunately there’s no way around it. Being alone is fine but people see it as unfortunate. At family gatherings its always the one who’s single that’s getting roasted like a pig at a cookout. Being single isn’t the end of the world, despite popular belief.

The idea that being alone currently means you’re destined to be alone forever is what makes the divorce rate so high. We’re told to graduate college, find a partner, get married by 24, have kids by 26, and that’s it. The world is literally telling us when its right for us to make life altering choices and that’s not fair. So the people who aren’t emotionally available destroy those who are and there’s more heartbreak than necessary. If I don’t want to date, but I’m told I’m supposed to, then I’m going to end up with someone I don’t want to be with. Then I’ll end up ending things eventually and seem like the bad guy.

Everyone is having babies which is fine if its right for them but for some reason if you say you don’t want kids people look at you like you’re an alien. Maybe one day I’ll want kids but right now the idea of even having a child is something I can’t fathom. I’m too wander-y and can barely commit to a pair of socks let alone deciding the future of a potential child. Just because I can’t picture it now doesn’t mean I can’t picture it ever.

I can’t picture myself in a relationship because there’s no potential people who I see myself with. So many people are desperate to be in a relationship that they try to force happiness in situations they know aren’t good for them. If someone comes along that’s great but you can’t force it to happen.

Can I see myself being a relationship? Sure, if he’s right for me, but I’m not going to go out every day with the intention of finding a boyfriend. People who say they want a boyfriend annoy me because it’s the idea they want not an actual person. They want marriage and babies but have no specifics of who they want to be with. So when the next joe-shmo comes along and gives them attention BAM, they suddenly are in love and find themselves heartbroken a few months later.

Being single is not the end of the world and it’s time people started realizing that. TC mark

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