November 29, 2016

I’m Warning You: Don’t Fall In Love With Me

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Unsplash, Elizabeth Tsung
Unsplash, Elizabeth Tsung

Don’t fall in love with me, because I notice everything and overanalyze everything. I will be deeply aware of the smallest change in your voice, the simple tap of your feet, and the way your eyeballs move when talking to me.

Don’t fall in love with me, because I am not ready to commit. I’m not going to be ready, because I have walls greater than that of China with large blocks of insecurities, doubts, and fears.

Don’t fall in love with me, because I’m the universe’s biggest drama queen. You won’t understand why I am misty-eyed over that Nicholas Sparks movie I watched a week ago or why I am so happy to see a random little child smile at me on my way home from a stressful day at school.

Don’t fall in love with me, because I’m different. I wear skirts while everybody else prefers skinny pants and boyfriend jeans. I love large comfy sandals like crocs while everybody else wants to wear those sexy T-strap flats.

Don’t fall in love with me, because I can become obsessed with things. You’ll find me in the middle of the night researching the best mirrorless camera I can get on the market and you’ll be shocked by how I sometimes stay awake until dawn comparing Top 10 lists on the internet.

Don’t fall in love with me, because I’m the most heartless jerk you’ll ever meet. I have this speciality where I can tear your heart into a million pieces, just by using my tongue.

Don’t fall in love with me, because I get disappointed easily. I do not have high expectations, but disappointments still come and it sometimes leads to self-deprivation. You’ll see me lowering my self-esteem and not getting my confidence back.

Don’t fall in love with me, because I have a fear of the unknown and a fear of uncertainties. I overthink the future and you won’t enjoy staying with me once I start expressing my deep thoughts.

Don’t fall in love with me, because I’m strong and independent and at the same time crumbly and soft. Our relationship will be a long battle and I don’t know if you can remain calm and cool throughout that.

Don’t fall in love with me, because I don’t give in freely. Choosing to be with me will give you a lot of hard times and headaches, because I’m going to question everything.

Don’t fall in love with me, because I’m not pretty. I don’t have almond eyes, rosy cheeks, a pointy nose, and strawberry colored lips. I only have a broad forehead, a blemished face, and an awkward smile.

Don’t fall in love with me, because I am hard to be with. Don’t fall in love with me, because I am intimidating. Don’t fall in love with me, because I walk out when I’m mad. Don’t fall in love with me, because I am broken. Don’t fall in love with me, because I can’t sleep with the lights on.

Don’t fall in love with me, because this list could go on and on and on.

But if you do love me the way I am and accept my flaws, I’ll promise to love you with all my heart. TC mark

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