Thought Catalog
December 27, 2011

5 Reasons Guys Go For Flakes

Report This Article
What is the issue?

Pop quiz: Girls are to jerks as guys are to

A. Ditzes
B. Models
C. Players
D. Flakes
E. All of the above

Technically speaking, the answer is “All of the above,” but for purposes of this expose, we’re focusing on le flakes — those girls who drop hints one night, vanish, then reappear after you’ve all but forgotten about them. They seem like they’re into you — on even days, most holidays and when the moon is waning — but on the odd, waxing days, they’re nowhere to be found. Elusive. Vague. Slightly mysterious. Generally attractive. You’d say they’re totally leading you on, except that would be admitting they’re doing anything at all. You’re still sitting in, “I don’t know… it’s weird with us” land.

I did some investigative reporting and found out there at are at least five reasons guys go for flakes. They are as follows:

1. The hard-to-get, drives-me-crazy-factor

Jerks provide a weird sort of cocky attention. Certain types of girls love it. Guys fall for flakes because their wishy-washy nature makes guys feel like they’re involved in a cat-mouse chase — a hot, cat-mouse chase. She draws you in, then lets you loose again. She says one thing that raises your hopes and excitement, then does another to bring it all crashing down.

Put plainly — some guys are really interested in what they can’t have, and flakes are really excellent at keeping whether or not they can be had a big, confusing mystery.

2. The “special attention” factor

Remember how girls like jerks because when they’re not being jerks, it feels like attention he gives no one else?  Flakes are masters at this game.  They know just how to make a guy feel amazing — intentionally or otherwise — creating the “she’s a flake with everyone but me” effect. Blatant, obvious, bawdy attention makes some guys feel wanted, but attention from an otherwise elusive girl trumps that 1,000 times over for a guy who loves a mysterious, elusive girl.

3. The “dominated/dominant” factor

Some of you are thinking, why struggle over something you’re never sure you can have if there are options readily available? Why don’t guys just like girls who are upfront and clear about their intentions, who make it known just what a guy will get?

One male interviewee referenced an element of push/ pull involved in dealing with a flake.  Guys want to be in charge and dominant in a relationship, but the nature of the flake creates this dominant slash dominated situation, which some guys find very hot.

4. The “low confidence/ flake lover” factor

She calls and he jumps.  She doesn’t call and he lets it go.  She calls three weeks later with no explanation of where she’s been, and it all starts over again. A guy with a lot of confidence would say screw this, I can and will do better.  A guy without much confidence doesn’t say anything.

5. The “some flakes are hot” factor

Guys like hot girls, always and everywhere.  Some hot girls are also really flakey.  Is it a result of their flakiness? Unclear, but potentially. Does it matter to most guys? Absolutely not. TC mark