Thought Catalog
April 14, 2017

How Do You Know You’re In Love? 34 People Attempt To Describe The Feeling

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Found on AskReddit.

1. When you’re with them, time seems to stop.

“When a person can make your day by simply existing. How, when you’re with them, time seems to stop. When you realize no one has ever made you feel happier, safer, or more complete.”

KatyLiedTheBitch


2. I had a dream we broke up, woke up with tears all on my face. Then I knew.

“I had a dream we broke up, woke up with tears all on my face. Then I knew.”

iamnotthemoon


3. The sappy love songs you used to hate start to make sense.

“The sappy love songs you used to hate start to make sense.”

sobrique


4. When you’re texting all night and you have to get up at 5am but refuse to say goodnight.

“When you’re texting all night and you have to get up at 5am but refuse to say goodnight.”

batterydyingagain


5. It’s like a mental illness except it feels good.

“It consumes you. It’s like a mental illness except it feels good. Except when it feels bad.”

richshaugh


6. After sex. If you’re in love you sleep in the wet spot.

“I was in a class in college called ‘Human Sexuality.’ At one point we were talking about love vs. lust vs. obsession. The professor asks what the real difference between love and lust is. A bunch of different people have opinions, and we have a pretty good discussion for about 15-20 minutes.

It’s starting to die down a bit, but before the professor can move on, this one kid in the back, who had not participated so far in the class, just says: ‘You sleep in the wet spot.’

The Professor asks him for more details.

‘After sex. If you’re in love you sleep in the wet spot.’

The class pretty much unanimously agreed his was the best answer.”

ootchang


7. Love is holding her hair when she pukes.

“Love—you just kind of know. You’re yourself. You don’t use one of those fakey ‘boyfriend/girlfriend voices.’ When you’re completely vulnerable, yet comfortable.

I’ve been married 10 years this coming December. I know how I show love and how my wife shows me love. Forgiveness. Respect. Compromise. Love is holding her hair when she pukes. Not going to bed angry—talking and working through troubles and arguments no matter how difficult the topic. That is key to ‘waking up happy.’ Not storming off in the middle of an argument.

Accepting you’re wrong. Undying respect, no matter what. You may be super mad at the other person for something entirely their fault; never lose respect. Forgiveness. Compromise. Doing things the other person enjoys because they enjoy it, and doing it with a smile on your face. Taking risks together.

Accepting there are just some things the other person won’t do. Compromise. Forgiveness. Respect.

Love is not chemical imbalances or physiological changes in your body. Love Is the feeling and joy you get when doing things FOR the other person.”

BrokenZen


8. For me it was a quiet inner peace.

“For me it was a quiet inner peace. A feeling that life would be life with her and something far more insignificant without.”

rumble272


9. When I realized that my wife is the first woman I’ve dated that I actually missed when I wasn’t with them; that was when I knew I wanted to be with her forever.

“A girl at work asked a bunch of us guys a question like this once. I think the exact question was, ‘When did you know you were going to marry your wife?’

My answer was, when I realized that my wife is the first woman I’ve dated that I actually missed when I wasn’t with them; that was when I knew I wanted to be with her forever. And then, after about a year of that feeling not changing our going away, I asked her to marry me.

Another guy I work with said he saw his wife destroy the fattest loaded burger, down her Texas cheese fries, and then gulp down her beer before ordering another. That was his clue. I guess love comes to each of us differently.”

StephenHorn


10. Love is a quiet trust; it is affection built out of familiarity.

“I thought I was in love a lot, growing up. I’d feel in love with people after talking to them for a day. I fell in love with everybody; I loved every girl I met and half the boys.

But as I got older, and got hurt, and hurt people, I realized that love isn’t that tingly feeling, or acting like an idiot, or wanting to be around someone all the time.

Love is a quiet trust; it is affection built out of familiarity. Love is really, really, really knowing someone—and wanting a life that has them in it, not because of what they can do, but because of what they are.”

badass_panda


11. You know you are in love when you will help them poop.

“I was the ‘other man’ for a while.

A girl I worked with was flirting pretty heavily with me and we went out, things were going pretty well until she told me she had a boyfriend.

I didn’t wanna be that guy so I said we couldn’t see each other, she goes on to explain how they are gonna breakup and he’s not good to her and all this.

Temptation gave in and we kept dating for a while until one day she tells me about how she had a bad night

Apparently she has this condition where it is really hard for her to poop and it causes her a lot of pain, the boyfriend helped her by pushing on her stomach while she pooped and it made her feel better somehow

I was like whoa that boy loves you, I wouldn’t do that shit. I mean like I’d ask from the other side of the door if you needed anything from the pharmacy but I’d never push on your stomach while you pooped all of a sudden it got real to me that he loved her and I was an ass for being the other man

TLDR: You know you are in love when you will help them poop.”

kperkins1982


12. You know you are in love when you can no longer imagine living your life without this person.

“I asked my dad this when I was dating my first girlfriend. She turned out to be a bitch who jerked me around for months on end, but the advice stayed relevant:

‘You know you are in love when you can no longer imagine living your life without this person, and the idea of spending the rest of it with them is inviting, not terrifying.’”

skydecklover


13. You do things for each other for the simple joy of making them happy.

“When all the new wears off, you don’t have butterflies every time they call or text or you know you’re going to see them, you’re not getting all giddy about “firsts” in your relationship, you’re no longer both on your best behavior, you can see their faults and let them see yours, you’ve survived a few disagreements, you’re not boning every time you catch some alone time, the sex isn’t mind-blowing every single time. And after all that, they’re still your favorite person. They still think the sun shines out your ass. You do things for each other for the simple joy of making them happy. The absence of the rose-colored glasses of new lust hasn’t been replaced with resentment, it has evolved into comfort, stability, and security with that person.”

the_taco_knight


14. Their happiness is your happiness.

“Their happiness is your happiness.”

A0mine_Daiki


15. When being around them makes you feel safe, warm, and at home.

“When you want to know everything about their past, good and bad, want to know who and why they are, you ask how their day was and are genuinely interested when they tell you about it. When being around them makes you feel safe, warm, and at home.”

macskenzer


16. Love is when you would never tell a lie and hurt them.

“Would you ever:
• Give the person up
• Let the person down
• Run around and desert the person
• Make the person cry
• Say goodbye to the person
• Tell a lie and hurt the person
• If not, then you’re probably no stranger to love.”

ApproximatelyC


17. You get happy at their existence.

“When you’ll do anything to compromise.

You get happy at their existence.

You’ll drop everything just to cuddle with them.”

throwawayTulpaAcc


18. She was my first thought in the morning and my last at night.

“She was my first thought in the morning and my last at night. She filled my dreams and motivated my actions. It was terrifying and exhilarating: I was not in control of my life because I’d do anything for her, but I didn’t care because I got to spend it with her. I realized that all one morning as I woke and she was again the only thought in my mind. It had probably been that way for a while before I realized, but I cannot tell you how long because I was lost in her.”

techniforus


19. When you get up and you instantly have a good feeling.

“When you get up and you instantly have a good feeling. This sign never fails.”

Universitynaud


20. You feel like if you could just stay with them forever, that life would be pretty great.

“Man, I found real love for the first time in my life last year. I’ll try to explain it. I knew instantly that there was something special between us. Literally the first time we went out, it was like we had been together for 10 years.

All I wanted to do was be around this person. It didn’t matter what else I was doing, I simply couldn’t get enough. You feel like if you could just stay with them forever, that life would be pretty great.

I’m a pretty argumentative person, but in love I don’t fight. Because I don’t care if I win. I just want things to be exactly how they are. So I don’t yell and I don’t get angry. I might get hurt, but never angry.

It was very obvious I was in love because the honeymoon phase of the relationship never wore off. A year later and it’s just as amazing if not more so than when we first started. I have no doubt that is will stay that way forever. She’s just.. my other half. I don’t want to ever date again. This is the one and I couldn’t be happier. She might not be perfect but she’s perfect for me.”

brrrangadang


21. When they give you the same feeling you get when food arrives at a restaurant.

“As someone who loves to eat, this quote I heard from a food podcast sums it up: ‘Marry the one who gives you the same feeling you get when food arrives at a restaurant.’”

Mitochondriagon


22. You’re in love when you actually care about how the other person feels, not how they make you feel.

“You’re in love when you actually care about how the other person feels, not how they make you feel. You’re in love when you are willing to make sacrifices for that person’s well-being and happiness because you care about them.”

03ifa014


23. Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two.

“Being in love is breathlessness, it is excitement, it is the promulgation of promises of eternal passion… But that is not love. That is just being ‘in love,’ which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two. Love is a temporary madness; it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because that is what love is.”

ClosingDownSummer


24. When you can’t stand the thought of seeing them afraid or in pain.

“I know I’m starting to fall in love when it’s not just about the person being attractive or making me happy or anything like that, but rather I couldn’t stand the thought to see her afraid or in pain. Like her pain becomes mine, if that makes sense.”

TheCookieBurglar


25. It’s so quiet, yet fills your heart with rich undertone, you really have to feel it to know.

“I’d like to take a step back from the romanticist ‘love.’ That’s a beautiful, passionate thing but those butterflies aren’t really love and the feeling does fade over time. Love is a far deeper, permeating feeling. It comes with subtlety and time and experience, rather than as a burst of emotion or sudden infatuation. Which is why, sadly, I think a lot of the Western world has trouble understanding it fully. And to be honest, despite being with my fiancé for 5 years, I couldn’t tell you how to recognize it. It’s so quiet, yet fills your heart with rich undertone, you really have to feel it to know.

Not to get Freudian, but imagine how you feel love toward family. They may infuriate you, you may not like parts of them, but you would hurt so deeply if they were gone, you cherish the time you’ve had, and you just… Love them.”

FG_Regulus


26. When your heart beats super-fast if they get close to you.

“When you feel empty without that person’s company. When your heart beats super-fast if they get close to you.”

fahademon


27. The thought of being together with her precludes EVERYTHING.

“The thought of being together with her precludes EVERYTHING. Even the thought of having sex with her is precluded by the thought of kissing her and holding her in my arms.”

misterkro


28. If your heart beats faster for a split-second when you see them.

“If your heart beats faster for a split-second when you see them.”

PM-SOME-TITS


29. When that person makes you feel like you want to better yourself.

“The answer to this question is a bit subjective, and I believe love manifests differently for different personality types.

The most simple explanation can be summed up like so: When that person makes you feel like you want to better yourself.

EnjoiEveryMoment


30. Love is when it stops being about you.

“Infatuation is when you would die without that person. Love is when you would die FOR that person. Love is when it stops being about you.”

jsagesid


31. Nothing matters, not you, not that thing weighing you down, not whatever geopolitical crisis is occurring, only they matter, and having them near you, with you, a part of you. That’s love.

“The routine answer to this question is ‘you’ll know.’

And that’s a pretty shitty and unsatisfying answer, right? You want to know more about the human condition, validate and identify your feelings, what good is “you’ll know”??

Seriously though, you’ll know. Unfortunately you may not know until it’s too late, that often happens, but you’ll know when you’ve felt it. When something happens to put your life in perspective, and you get a moment of lucidity that lets you cut through the bullshit, and through all of life’s stresses and grievances, and you see them. Nothing matters, not you, not that thing weighing you down, not whatever geopolitical crisis is occurring, only they matter, and having them near you, with you, a part of you. That’s love.

It’s not always outspoken, it’s not always grand and romantic, but it’s always there, always present. Hollywood would have you believe it’s like a firework display throughout your body, but that’s an instant, that’s a moment, that’s winning the lottery, or graduating, or your wedding day. Love is an itch on the heart that’s there, always in the back of your awareness, always whispering.”

Xais56


32. His joy was what made me happy. That’s what made me realize I was in love.

“Seeing him happy made me happier than I ever remembered being before. His joy was what made me happy. That’s what made me realize I was in love.

When someone you care about receives a gift they love you are happy for them. When someone you love receives a gift they love, you are as happy as if you yourself received a gift, since their happiness is on par with it.”

yiotaturtle


33. You know long after it’s gone.

“You know long after it’s gone. ‘Oh, maybe that was it.’”

we_re_all_dead


34. When you start to ask questions like ‘How do you know when you’re in love?’

“When you start to ask questions like ‘How do you know when you’re in love?’ Dead giveaway.”

Vikingsfreak TC mark

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