September 14, 2016

You Have To Love Someone Without Losing Yourself

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What is the issue?
Dmitry Ratushny
Dmitry Ratushny

I know how difficult it is to be your own stability.

How lonely it can feel not to reach for another person when you feel like you need someone the most.

As a generation we have allowed ourselves to become independent to a fault. We have spent years as a culture reinforcing the idea that needing someone else is weakness not love. And yet now we find ourselves at the center of one of the loneliest times in history.

We’ve avoided love so much that we’ve forgotten how it’s supposed to work. So now we are back at the beginning, wanting love so badly that we are reckless and unapologetic in our relationships.

After all this time and all this trouble we still haven’t found the balance between loving dangerously and loving with limits.

What’s keeping us, as millennials, as humans, from discovering the equilibrium of love?

It’s the fact that we see love as being synonymous with salvation. Love is supposed to save you, right? Love is supposed to make your life worth living and give you someone to accept you as you are, right? Love is the solution to every problem that plagues you. Your feelings of hopelessness, your fears, your inability to trust. Yes, love is supposed to conquer all. Right?

Only that’s not true at all. Love is not the same as salvation. Love is not going to save you and it never should. Being in love with someone is a gift and it’s beautiful but most love is fleeting and when you invest your entire being into someone you may lose, you will end up more broken and lost than you can imagine.

It’s not endearing or romantic to depend solely on someone else. Just as it isn’t a testament to your strength if you force yourself to be alone by denying your emotions. You have to find a balance.

You have to want someone else without losing yourself.

I know how hard that can be. I have yet to discover the best way to love and be loved. The only thing I know for sure is that I will not allow another person to be my reasons. I won’t allow another person to save me.

I will save myself. And you should be saving yourself too. TC mark

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