The Details They Don’t Tell You About Heartbreak

They don’t tell you that 3 months down the line it still hurts like hell. You’ll be sitting in your room at 3am and out of nowhere you start thinking about what he’s doing, if he’s okay and if he’s happy. You’ll start wondering if he has a girlfriend or if he’s kissed anyone else since that night. You’ll go out one night and look around and see if he’s there. You know you don’t want to see him but deep down you want to catch a glimpse of him looking at you because it makes you feel a little better.

They don’t tell you that you’ll think about them constantly. You’ll start off with just random careless thoughts, then it’s turns into daydreams. And then those daydreams turn into actual dreams. And then those dreams turn into nightmares. And then those nightmares turn into reality.

They don’t tell you how much it’ll hurt when you find out they found someone new. When you find that out, your whole world shatters. You had a little hope left inside of you that you two could mend things. Everything could be back to what it was, but once you know they’ve moved on – everything also ends. All the little make believe future plans you had for you two are over. They don’t exist anymore and I think that hurts the most. Knowing that you two could have this beautiful fairytale that we were all brought up on is over – you don’t know where to go from there because Cinderella never got her heart broken like that. Whether the new person is prettier than you, know it doesn’t matter because that person will never have the same strength as you.

They don’t tell you how hard it is to stop talking about that person. At one point that person was everything you thought about. He was the reason why you put on that mauve colored lipstick that Thursday morning even though you were exhausted. He was the reason you got to school a little bit earlier so you could pass him and he’d notice you. He was the reason you took a little extra time every night and every morning focusing on your beauty routine. They were the reason you did every little thing and not being about to talk about them is the hardest thing because you still do those little things even though that person broke you into pieces.

They don’t tell you that the person who broke you will turn into the person who made you stronger. Because at that moment that person who broke you is an enemy. But eventually they’ll turn into your hero because they made you the person you are today.

They don’t tell you that the fight you put up for months or for years is all worth it in the end. Even though it seems like you’ll never get completely healed you will. The songs you weren’t able to listen to on the radio will become songs that you start enjoying again. The roads you stopped taking because you thought if you took them and he saw you he’d think you were stalking him, will become a late night road trip route. And if you pass him, so what? The worst thing he can think now is that you’re on your way to your new boyfriends house. And then he should start wondering why all of a sudden he cares where you’re going.

They don’t tell you how rewarding it is to finally start feeling better. After months of laying in bed and binge watching romantic movies and having Sam Smith on repeat they don’t tell you how happy you become. That one morning you wake up and start feeling happy. You feel like a new person. You feel like you just came out of war. They don’t tell you how much you have to go through to get to that point. They don’t don’t tell you those things because they’re afraid you’ll stay there. But trust me, you won’t and you can’t stay there. You’ll make it out alive and happier than ever. All you need is time and a little healing.