News Host Demonstrates How Her Vibrating Toothbrush Hits The Spot
Canadians, I’m not going to pretend I understand what kind of frigid, weird things you guys are into. I assume frost-addled sex parts have to do desperate things to thaw out. But if Lisa Dutton of Global Saskatoon (which sounds like a made-up news show from a Robin flashback on How I Met Your Mother (I mean, what? I don’t watch that. As if. I hate TV. (I’ve seen every episode.))) is any indication, even Canadian babies are down with some freaky kinds of get-down.
And for those of you who don’t have a baby in need of a Chris Hansen-approved teething solution, just watch this video with the sound off for an understood-in-all-languages Valentine’s Day (just the) tip.
Special shout-out to co-host Kevin Stanfield’s “is this happening? Wait, no really, this is happening? Holy fuck, this is happening!” facial progression.
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It started with a right swipe, a little green heart. Tinder of course.
Though I acknowledge and appreciate the differences in human experiences, and while your heartbreak is (and always will be) uniquely and completely your own, I must urge you to consider that I have been where you are.
With his hat cocked back, body tilted away from his cane, and right forefinger pointing directly at his audience, Joseph Ducreux commands the attention of those viewing his self-portrait.
I was born in 1990; he was born in 1973. I’m 23; he just turned 40.