The unit of measurement has not yet been invented that would adequately measure the miniscule depth of my shit-giving about Lance Armstrong and whatever brand of monkey hormone drugs (that’s right, right?) he was shooting into his eyeballs to win all the special bike prizes. I also really just can’t with Oprah anymore since she broke her own vow and licked on Kardashian klit for a TV special. All this to say: I definitely didn’t watch Lance Armstrong’s interview with Oprah. And today, that act of apathy is paying off IN SPADES, my friends: Some little saint named Matthijs Vlot made this video that I won’t describe. Just watch. Hint: it involves Radiohead’s “Creep” and your Monday morning getting a little bit better.