An Open Letter To My Ex-Boyfriend’s Next Girlfriend

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Hello there,

You might think this is weird, for me to write you this letter before I even know who you are.

I just need you to know what a fantastic boyfriend you have and I don’t mean that in a bitter way. He will usually treat you perfectly. He will bring you flowers for no reason. He will leave you romantic notes on your bed, instructing you to relax and watch Netflix (instruction on how to work the PS4 included!) because he already washed the dishes and swept for you. He will do cute Pinterest projects to celebrate your birthdays and relationship milestones. He will always make you feel comfortable in your own skin and love every single inch of you.

You will never want for cuddles or affection as he is a cuddly little barnacle… I suggest getting a fan for when he sleeps over, he is a human radiator. He will love you with his whole heart and he will never give you a reason to doubt his unwavering loyalty. His family is awesome and his dogs are cute. He will spoil you every day with even the smallest of gifts such as your favorite chocolate or sometimes something like a pair of Uggs.

I will also tell you he is sensitive. You need to watch what you say, what jokes you crack. He will hold onto his anger or hurt for a long time and throw it at you when he is trying to “win” a fight. He wants you to be the center of his world and expects you to do the same. Your friendships will fall to the wayside without you even noticing. His double standards will amaze you. When you are out with your girlfriends he will text you non-stop to find out what you are doing, where you are at, who you are with, how you are getting home, and exactly when you will be there.

Ignoring these little reminders will just cause a fight so you will start going out less and less. When the going gets rough he will always play the victim with you as the perpetrator. He will put terms and conditions on your relationship, “If we are to continue this you must XYZ.” You will undoubtedly agree because it sounds so reasonable in the moment and you just want the fight & the hurt to go away. He is insecure (I did contribute to that, admittedly. Sorry!) and he will cry to you about it. I hope you don’t mind a guy with tears to share.

Please, love him and appreciate the things about him that I could not. He deserves that. He deserves someone that does not think all of his feelings are annoying and bothersome. His sensitivity is something you must cater to. Spoil him, share every detail of your day with him, communicate your feelings and understand his. Appreciate his enthusiasm regarding Doctor Who and those bands he listens to that make my ears bleed. Please, love him wholeheartedly and genuinely if you can. He’s a great guy.

Take care.

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