Thought Catalog
May 19, 2017

You Were So Foolish To Fall In Love With Me

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What is the issue?
Kalen Emsley

I ask you what you’re looking for in relationship, throwing hints that I could see you being the perfect guy for me. A couple of weeks go by and I’m digging on you, hard. I realized maybe you’re different from the last guy that I’ve been with, you understand me better than anyone ever has. I tell you aloud, I’m not just trying to be your friend, and you say you want to be more than just friends too. We make it official.

Everything is going great, it’s the best relationship I’ve been in. I’m showing you off, letting you meet everyone that’s important to me, my best friends, parents, family members all within four months of dating.

I make you a PRIORITY in my life. You tell me to tell you if I don’t see us going any further, but I tell you ‘no I truly want to be with you’. Date after date and all I see are smiles and gleaming stares from you.

Six months in the relationship. You tell me you’re in love with me, but I don’t say it back. I leave your house to go home just to break up with you two days later.

The breakup leads me to become hoeish, flirting with every guy that came my way, because I realized I wasn’t over the past and I’m not ready for another serious relationship. Even though I know that, I come back to you anyway. Now we’re back together, and everything is fine again.

I tell you I love you. We attend my best friend’s wedding and I catch the bouquet. After the wedding, I dump you again, telling you I’m not ready. But I come back, because I know you’re so wrapped up in me, you’re going to take me back. You stupid boy. 

A couple of months pass by, I tell you I cheated on you when I really didn’t, only to give a reason for you to break up with me, but you don’t. Instead, you love me despite my disloyalty and you’re so in love with me, you’re willing to look past it.

But then you tell me you had sex with someone else.

Now I’m pissed. So pissed that when you’re asleep at night, I lay in your bed texting other guys, I tweet heartless things. Even though I hurt you it doesn’t matter, I’m supposed to be the victim, not you. You keep taking me back you stupid boy.

And then I find out I’m pregnant, but I miscarry. I don’t care, but you do. Your heart is so broken, your spirit is torn to pieces, you question things, life itself, but me? I pretend I care because I’m selfish like that.

Meanwhile, I’m still texting and flirting with other guys. But you…you stay because you’re so broken into our relationship, you don’t know what to do without me.

We fuss, fight each other with our words, and sometimes physically, all because you want me to care about you the way you care about me. You’re a great guy, you’re going to be a great husband to someone one day, but not to me.

I’m not ready for anyone that’s good for me, because it’s too good to be true. You’re too good to be true. You scare me, because you actually do love me. Your love doesn’t hurt like the last time I loved. Finally, we part ways for good.

Now whose heart is really broken? Is it yours?

You never had real love, so you held onto thinking it would change me, that it would blossom into the fairy tale I painted for you. When really you should’ve just let me go before it had gotten worse. Or is my own heart broken for causing me to become damaged goods for whoever came my way?

Who really is the broken person here?  TC mark

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