Love is a risk. That is the exhilarating part. There are no promises. There are no guarantees. People choose every day whether they want to keep loving. Trying. Believing in another person. You could feel secure one moment and in the next, your whole world could turn on its head. But to have someone choose to love you every day. On their own. It is a risk worth taking. It is a feeling that rivals most other feelings on this earth.
What I have learned is that you can’t love to be loved. You love just to love. Its natural. You can’t control it or limit it based on someone else’s response. Maybe you didn’t feel it, but I did. And I am glad that I did. I loved you because I felt love. And I don’t regret it. For me, it showed me how capable I am to love. And how much more beautiful love will be with someone who feels the same way back.
This life is ours. We share it with each other, yes. But what we learn from it. What we take. Is ours and ours alone. And when I think of you, I used to feel pain. For love lost. But now I just feel love. I smile because we had moments that I will hold on to forever. And I remember you as the first man that I fully let in to my heart. Which makes you very special because I didn’t think it would ever happen. For you, I threw open the door, instantly. I could never explain to you how much you mean to me. Or how happy I was to feel the things I felt for you.
Everyone wants to hate each other when they don’t get what they wanted from a love story. I wanted to hate you. But I couldn’t. It didn’t stick. What I want to do is wish you well. Forgive you. Think the best of you and hope that you find happiness. Because you aren’t a bad man just because you didn’t love me back. And we need to remember that in life. We can still love the men we love, even if we don’t end up with them. It doesn’t mean our heart was wasted.
What it means is that we crossed paths with a soul that we were drawn to. They affected us. Moved us. Made us feel things that made our hearts come alive. Stirred our emotions. Made us think. Made us feel. All of these things are good and positive things. Why is it that when something doesn’t work out all we focus on are the negative things that happened? We miss. We overlook.
We try so hard to forget about the good things. I don’t want to forget them. I want to be grateful that I met someone who made me feel. How often in life do we meet people that cause a reaction inside of us. It’s rare. I’m thankful for it. That this one man made me feel so many things. So deeply. For so long. Him and I ending up together doesn’t change the fact that I felt such a connection. He had my attention.
And maybe our culture encourages us to hate our exes but I think I am starting to see things in a different light. And I like it because it makes me feel stronger not weaker for having loved. And I’m pretty sure that is love’s point.