Dear Millennials: It’s Okay To Not Have It All Figured Out
By Jen Saviano
Dear fellow millennials:
So I don’t know about you, but I remember my college days…
Specifically, I remember talking to adults, (well, adultier adults) about how great it is. You’d always see their faces look up, smiling, as if they’re picturing those fond memories right before their eyes. Snapping back out of it, they turn to you and say, “Please enjoy your college days, they’ll be gone before you know it.” Almost like they’re asking you for a favor.
And I always took those comments to heart. More often than not, I’d look around while walking to class, or when surrounded with my friends/roommates *partying instead of studying*. I’d think to myself, well I am enjoying it! I know how special these times are and I’m not going to take it for granted. And I didn’t, I loved it.
Well, 4 years have passed and I still have the same mentality, and I’m actually quite proud of myself for that. I wake up every day with this innate passion to better who I am as a person in every aspect of my life. I try to consume my days with thoughts, activities, and people that enrich who I am. I go out of my way to make the most of every. single. day and I want to have fun in the process. I’m a professional carpe diem’er, if you will.
Oddly enough, this can be a double-edged sword. Sometimes I put so much pressure on doing things right and making the most of my life that I can get overwhelmed. Back in the college days, you have what seems to be a lifetime ahead of you to get your life sorted.
Your mid-late twenties, on the other hand, that’s when sh*t gets real.
Now, it’s really about making the most of your time and becoming who you’re meant to be. You become a juggler – you’re finding yourself, your LIFE PARTNER (nbd), a career, financial stability, eliminating + adding the right people in your life, dodging curveballs from every direction, and is it just me or is someone leaning on the fast forward button!? Seriously, time is FLYING. It’s May, didn’t we just celebrate NYE!? I’m 27. TWO-SEVEN, I swear I was 22 last month.
There are days when I feel like a boss and nothing can stop me, and others when I’m walking around in circles, stressed and utterly overwhelmed for no good reason. You know those days when you just get SO in your head, and your mind is running a million miles a minute about everything under the sun? That was me yesterday.
So at the end of the day, I poured myself a hefty glass of Cab and hopped in bed. I was going through Pinterest looking at different inspirational boards, because that’s just what girls do (I swear we don’t have our weddings planned out on private boards…), and I started to unwind.
I mean wow, the internet is FULL of posts on what we should and shouldn’t be doing in our twenties. I was reading blog post after blog post, and one, in particular, stood out to me: “Advice I Wish I Put Into Practice In My Twenties” I usually love these kinds of posts, I’m all about learning from the “wiser”.
The post looked a little something like this:
1. Find something your passionate about and find a way to make money from it. Ugh I’m trying!
2. Open a savings account, save as much as you can. Get your finances in order. Opened savings account, have some $$ it, but revolve.com takes half of it monthly.
3. TRAVEL TRAVEL TRAVEL, these are your years. I’m doing OK in that category… but I want to do more more more… and aren’t I supposed to be saving?
4. Stay away from sun! Protect your skin, you’ll thank yourself later on. I’m usually good about this, but I got fried last weekend.
5. Be open- minded to new relationships. I just turned down 2 dates last week.
6. Start a fitness routine you love! Check! Orange Theory whatup.
7. Read more books regularly. Just started doing this…Have you read Girl on the Train!?
8. Stay focused while working. Tortuga this weekend! Let me check out the New Arrivals section at Lulu’s…. I’m hungry… What kind of bird is that outside my window? Apples.
9. Don’t let negative comments affect you. The occasional internet troll still gets to me. I was told last week I “have a penis”… ok I can’t type that with a straight face, that one was funny, but some of the others I could live without.
10. Take multivitamins EVERY DAY. I skipped yesterday.
11. Meditate everyday, be present. Some days I’m super zen, others I want to stab someone in the hand w/ a fork.
12. Stay organized. My desk currently looks like I’ve been working with a blindfold on.
13. Live every day to the fullest. Ya ya ya.
“TAKE THIS ADVICE, trust me… your twenties will be over before you know it.”
Well, shit.
I got a flashback to those “adults” giving me advice about enjoying my college years… only this time around I found my shoulders scrunched up, mind racing all over again.
*Shuts laptop, pours another glass*
This is great advice and I know I should be doing all this stuff, but I don’t do it all.
Am I doing enough? Am I doing it right? Am I where I should be? Am I enjoying my youth as much as I should be? Am I really taking advantage of my “twenties”? Why don’t I have it all figured out? I know it sounds silly to stress about this stuff, but some days I can’t help but feel so much pressure to have my life together. Especially when everything is moving SO fast. Sometimes I wish I could hit the pause button for a hot sec, take a deep breath and put things back into perspective.
And that’s just what I did.
I opened up my laptop again and starting writing this post because we could all use this reminder from time to time.
Thanks to my mini breakdown (hormones, y’all…) I came out of it with the realization that the only thing I’m doing wrong is stressing about not doing things right.
Whatever age you may be, please know, you’re not supposed to have it all figured out. Life is meant to be stressful and confusing and surprising and amazing. If you had all the answers and everything was peachy at all times, then life would be pretty damn boring, wouldn’t it?
It’s okay to not know. It’s okay to not have an answer. It’s ok to go with the flow and roll with the punches. It’s OKAY to not have your life figured out.
Tell yourself from time to time to let go of the idea in your head of what life should be, and just accept it how it is and where you’re at right now. As long as you’re gently pushing yourself every day towards the person you want to become, you’re doing it right.
So give yourself a break once in a while.
And next time you’re stressin’, pour yourself some big girl juice and know you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.
Happily lost. Wanna come with?