I Hope This Distance Doesn’t Tear Us Apart

“Let’s start to play a game of imagination, baby.” As his voice started to echo in the four corners of my room with those husky yet full of warm tone. With eyes that can see the depth of your soul. With a smile that can lift you up. Yeah , I can see that.

“And how are we going to do that?”

“Let’s start imagining a house. An ideal house in which we would live together. What do you say?”

“Aren’t we escalating too fast?”

“I’m not trying to impose…”

“Okay, let’s see.” I closed my eyes. Within the darkness of my mind, it started to walk in the path of imagination. I felt a warm feeling inside as words are starting to play, if I will not say I know this feeling will explode anytime.

“Alright, I would like to see myself in a place called home. As long as you are there, then that would be enough.

Perhaps a house not small for me unable to move. Not too big for me to feel lonely. Just enough that I can see you wherever I go. Enough to feel your presence even though you’re not there. A house with a good Wi-Fi and a place for my laptop. If you’re cool without a TV, that would be fine. With one bed and a small kitchen, that’s a house that I would love.” I love seeing him smile as those eyes are really warm and yet so dark staring back.

“Careful with your words or I might try and steal a kiss from you. I would have liked to have a big kitchen.”

“Well, as long as you’re the one who’s going to cook, it’s fine with me.”

“Not too good with cooking for now but I can improve.” I really want to touch those facial hairs, and keep telling myself that I have to restrain or else.

“I am not fond of a garden but if you want to have it then is it. I might not be a good cook but I will always try to give you a good meal.”

“Already spoiling me, huh?”

“I might burn tens of eggs just to give you the best sunny side up I could make.”

“And you were the one saying I’m going too fast here.”

Ahh, I want to kiss those lips that give me smiles and yet I have to stop myself or else…

“Because I don’t have a place called home, your arms are really enough.

If it’s you, I might try. Because it is you. Maybe if it’s you, even we encounter hard times, just kiss me on my forehead and I know everything’s going to be fine. Maybe if it’s you, I might try to fall in love again and get ready to be hurt at the same time. But know what? If that happens, just give me a chocolate and I’ll be fine. Kiss me down to my neck and back to my cheeks. Caress my hair as your lips touch mine.

Hug me as if there’s no tomorrow and I can endure the pain associated with this feeling. Because it’s you.

There may be times you will shout at me. Perhaps once you will get cold to me. But maybe, if it’s you I will hold on to your words here. I might cry in the corner. Somewhere you won’t see me. There may be times I’m trying to understand the difference in the culture we had. I may have some reservations, but maybe if it’s you…”

With a long silence after I utter the words, I saw tears slowly drops on those deep, black eyes. The longing and sadness I’m feeling that keeps on bottling up is about to explode. And yet I made him cry… Am I this bad? But I wanted him to hear my game of imagination. And he whispered…

“Baby, I miss you…” as his husky voice cracked.

“Same here… Please come home soon.”

He seems near yet so far. With only a phone call away, I wish this distance won’t tear us apart.