How To Tell If You’re Falling For A Fuckboy

Sometimes life is hard. I get it. You’re lonely and you’ve acquired one too many cats. Then suddenly this mostly-good-looking, seemingly-nice guy wanders into your life and BAM! You start falling hard. But be wary my lady-friends, for he could be a fuckboy. Here are some helpful identifiers:

1. He only wants to see you after dark.

Dinner dates are all well and good, but if he only wants to see you after the sun goes down, he probably only has one end game. And it involves nudity. And you probably being mostly unfulfilled at the end of the night. So make sure to order that steak at dinner, girl, so at least your belly will be happy.

2. He sends you really romantic texts….at 2am.

My mom always told me that nothing good ever happens after midnight. So those seemingly-sweet texts that he sends you that late at night means he’s probably drunk and really horny- and he’s hoping he said just the right thing to get you to come over.

3. He ignores you when you’re around his friends.

I get it, we all need friend time, and sometimes you forget about the odd person out…but that odd person out shouldn’t be your beau. If he acts like you aren’t there when you happen to hang with him and his friends, run screaming.

4. He’s show-offy around your friends.

Dimwitted men think that beating their chest (showing off) is a good way to attract mates. If he does that crap around  your ladies- you’re falling for a fuckboy.

5. He apologizes way too much.

It’s sweet when a guy says sorry for being a douchebag- which everyone is every now and then. But if he is doing it all the time- he clearly just wants to make sure he still has you wrapped around his finger until he gets bored.

6. His personality changes a few weeks in.

He’s super sweet and caring for the first few weeks. He texts back right away. Makes sure you know how much he likes you. Then all of a sudden he gets distant. And you allow it because he started out so great. So it must be a phase right? Nope. He’s a fuckboy. (And a manipulative prick.) You give him space, and run to him when he calls all because you hold out hope that things will go back to how they were at the beginning. *SPOILERS* They won’t. He’ll ghost. And you’ll be left with six more cats* to fill the void he left.