21 Signs You’re A Basic B*tch
1. You own any Adam Sandler movie. Specifically 50 First Dates.
2. You drink pumpkin spice lattes.
3. You post inspirational quotes on your Facebook/Twitter.
4. You tweet: “It’s 11:11. Make a wish!”
5. You Instagram photos of pretty sunsets with the caption: “i believe in rainbows, do you?”
6. You have a dog and gave it a regular person name like “Britney” or “Tom.”
7. You watch King Of Queens.
8. You’re a Republican, even though you love gay guys!!!!
9, You honestly wonder whether or not you’re a Carrie or a Charlotte.
10. You order prosecco at bars. Anything you drink is basically a giant vagina.
11. You only sleep with bankers and financial analysts.
12. You think the characters on Girls are “weird’ and “depressing.”
13. You occasionally believe in Jesus Christ, but only when your love life is in shambles and you need a higher power to make it through.
14. You’re the reason Nickelback has a career.
15. You have a tattoo that means something poetic in a foreign language.
16. You LOVE Las Vegas AKA “Basic Bitch Capital Of The World.”
17. OMG, goat cheese!
18. You are STILL quoting Mean Girls.
19. Eat, Pray, Love AKA The Basic Bitch Bible changed your life. One day, when you find yourself trapped in a loveless marriage to a rich man in Connecticut, you’re going to leave him to go find yourself through extensive prayer and pizza.
20. You RT pleas for help from children with cancer.
21. You tell people that you don’t “do” drama.
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2. You break down and finally look up what a mortgage is on Wikipedia.
3. You aren’t a yes man.
But then comes the day where you grow silent. It’s something new, something I’m not used to, because we communicate.
When people say that college is the best four years of your life they are referring to the three weeks of spring right after a never-ending winter and before the oppressive humidity sets in.