November 15, 2011

50 Things To Say During A Breakup

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What is the issue?
Every relationship is a unique, special snowflake – until it dissolves. Then its contents are reduced to cliché-riddled proclamations and accusations. Breakups bring the crappy screenwriter out in all of us. One minute we’re all, “You are the warmest socks on the coldest winter day,” and the next we’re reciting lines from a Jennifer Aniston movie. Here, compiled for your convenience (and avoidance) – the 50 most overused breakup phrases.
  1. We need to talk.
  2. Are you okay?
  3. So what does this mean?
  4. I’m so sorry.
  5. I’m just trying to do what’s right for both of us.
  6. I want my key back.
  7. I just need some time to think about things.
  8. I never meant to hurt you.
  9. Is this really what you want?
  10. This is hard for me, too.
  11. I hope we can still be friends.
  12. What am I going to tell [our friends/my parents/the kids]?
  13. There’s no one else, I swear.
  14. I’m just not ready to settle down.
  15. Where is this going?
  16. So it’s really over, then.
  17. I love you.
  18. I hate you.
  19. I can’t do this anymore.
  20. You’re going to make someone so happy someday.
  21. You’re making a huge mistake.
  22. Get out.
  23. What about [the shared pet/our impending vacation/the kids]?
  24. I knew it.
  25. I’m not in love with you anymore.
  26. Where is this coming from?
  27. I can’t believe this.
  28. You’re more like a [roommate/friend/sibling]
  29. I need to focus on my career.
  30. You’re not the person I fell in love with.
  31. All we do is fight.
  32. I wish I never met you.
  33. There’s someone else.
  34. Are you sure?
  35. I just need some space.
  36. It’s over, it has been for a while.
  37. I can’t even look at you anymore.
  38. It’s not me, it’s you.
  39. Its not you, it’s me.
  40. How could you do this to me?
  41. I think you’re an amazing person.
  42. Tell me you’re going to be okay.
  43. You deserve better than this.
  44. Don’t ever talk to me again.
  45. I just want things to go back to how they used to be.
  46. I never cheated on you.
  47. When can I pick up my stuff?
  48. Who is [he/she/it]?
  49. You broke my heart.
  50. This isn’t working. TC mark
image – Katy Ter Haar
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