Thought Catalog
February 24, 2017

It Isn’t The Unconditional Love That Needs Shifting — It’s You

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What is the issue?
Ali Kaukas
Ali Kaukas

You drawing the line
he says
is you keeping your boundaries
and honouring self
it’s the ultimate act of self love
this
not settling
this
there will be another prince
or a king
you are calling in a love that will choose his self growth
and his relationship with himself
and you
and your relationship
over anything
and if he doesn’t choose that
if he doesn’t choose growth
if he doesn’t choose you
well then you will be living in a love
that is bound in the knowingness that you are second
that this relationship
this magic
this love
comes second
that’s not loving

so draw your own line in the sand
and if you keep it
you are loving yourself more
than this relationship ever will
and maybe the prince will become a king
maybe he will choose growth
maybe he will choose to look at why the substance is more important than the opportunity of delectable love
maybe he will not
And I will walk forward alone
and just trust
trust that there are dozens of princes and kings out there who already have their hearts eyes on me
and maybe someday he will wake up
and go
I lost the girl
I lost the queen
because I choose cocaine
or whatever cocaine is
because it isn’t cocaine
it isn’t the beer or the weed or the what not
it’s what underneath it that we bandaid with our vices because we are too scared shitless to look at ourselves and do the work
and I am not holding a magnifying glass to your past
but I am asking you to grow
and if I stay
like you ask
then I am settling
and not in a buying a house in suburbia and a minivan with a job I hate settle
no you are asking me to settle in love
which is a crime that god brings his hammer down
in the heavens and punishes you for life
for love is why we are here
and there are not many guns I stick to
but choosing a partner who would rather kiss the inside of my elbow for years to come as we stack on memories of deserts in Africa and green waves in Indonesia
to a bump
or a line
well that’s the love I choose
and if I need to give up the love I choose for a human
it isn’t the unconditional love that needs shifting
it’s you. TC mark