Thought Catalog
December 8, 2014

Do Strong, Independent Women Intimidate Men?

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What is the issue?
image - Flickr / Carmen Jost
image – Flickr / Carmen Jost

Many women complain that they can’t find the relationship, because men are intimidated by their success and the fact that they are strong and independent. But, is it that men are intimidated, or is it something else that bothers them? Many men enjoy being in relationships with successful and strong women at MillionaireMatch.com. They enjoy being able to have intelligent conversations, and the fact that their wives or girlfriends are able to stand on their own. So, why do so many strong, intelligent, and independent women not finding the relationships they are looking for?

One of the biggest problems for men isn’t that the women in their lives are successful, but that they bring certain qualities from their careers into their relationships. For instance, men don’t want to be with women who are opinionated, decisive, and aggressive. They don’t mind women being their equals, but they don’t want to feel like they are lesser than their partners. They don’t want someone who is going to end up trying to control their every move.

Obviously, most men do have some requirements when looking for romantic partners. They seek intelligence, good work ethics, and women who have their own dreams of the future. Things really start to work out when the partners share the same goals. Women don’t necessarily have to be college graduates, but men do prefer women who have graduated from high school.

Naturally, there must also be a physical attraction. Not only do men want the above qualities in a woman, they also need to be attracted in order for relationships to really work. If a man is attracted to a woman, her successes will make her even that much more attractive to him. When all is said and done, it all comes down to how a man feels when they are with a woman, not how many skills she has or her level of education.

Equality is another issue in many relationships. Men don’t necessarily want to be more successful than their partners. But, they do want to feel like men, and they want to at least feel equal to their partners. They want women to let them make the big decisions once in a while, or at least let them think they are making the decisions. Women who are looking for relationships need to remember that if they make men feel emasculated, they aren’t going to have successful relationships.

Something else that turns many men off is women who act like they don’t need men. Most men can appreciate a woman who is strong enough to be able to live without a man in her life. But, they don’t need to hear it over and over again how much a woman doesn’t need them around. Just because a woman doesn’t need a man, it doesn’t mean that she has to act like it and not appreciate them. It is same in the reversal. No one wants to feel like they aren’t needed, whether they be men or women. The more unappreciated someone feels, the more resentful they will be, and the relationship just isn’t going to work out.

These days, there is a trend of women marrying down, and men marrying up. This doesn’t tend to make most men feel emasculated, and many women don’t care how much their mates earn, as long as they are ambitious. There are also many people who stick with traditional gender roles, including women, and prefer to be in relationships where the men are the bread winners, and the women take care of their families. There is nothing wrong with this either. TC mark