7 Things That Make It Impossible To Lose Weight In New York City

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1. Seamless

It’s not that Seamless is unique to NY, it’s just soooo much more opportune here.  Going out for food means changing out of man sweats, dodging slow-walking tourists, and praying the place I’m going to isn’t cash only. Throw some winter ice in the mix and ordering delivery is as much an insurance policy as it is a convenience. However, seamlessing means I don’t even get a walk in before I chow down on some Pad Thai.

2. Food Fads

From cronuts to ramen burgers, trendy foods are not as much about enjoying a burger wrapped in a noodle bun as it is being able to discuss the experience of having one. “Have you tried a frozen S’more” is an actual topic of conversation I’ve overheard. It just so happens that these dishes tend to be as unhealthy as they are popular. So, until someone makes a kale dish worth waiting in line for at 5 a.m., I guess we’re stuck with hybrid breakfast pasties that have an undisclosed calorie count.

3. Two Words: Shake Shack.

The east coast’s In-N-Out, Shake Shack is one of the best things I have ever consumed. I would even go as far as to say I like it better than In-N-Out (cue threatening comments). But seriously, they have cheese sauce for their fries. CHEESE SAUCE. Also, their hot chocolate tastes better than being skinny feels.

4. PIZZA

I’m not sure if pizza is actually better in the big apple, but I would argue that it’s more abundant. There are six pizza shops within three blocks of my apartment. After a long night at the bars, a slice – or four – is hard to resist. Despite my expanding waistline, I have accepted drunken pizza as a new food group.

5. Alcohol

No real description necessary: Rowdy bars + not having to worry about a sober driver + 6 a.m. closing time = A LOT of empty calorie consumption.

6. Brunch 

Brunch is really the only cure for a hangover caused by staying out until dawn and drinking 13 shots of fireball. Unfortunately, brunch usually equates to carb-loading, consuming 5,000 calories of mimosas-turned-straight-champagne, and eating greasy food the next day, when the real hangover sets in. It’s an ugly, fattening cycle, but I’m not fully prepared to break out of it yet – my love handles be damned.

7. FOMO 

As a non-native New Yorker, I have a genuine fear of missing out on all this city has to offer. This includes the sights to be seen, the fun to be had and the food to be eaten.