1. You identify with Hermione Granger on a spiritual, emotional, personal level that is untouchable by any other character that has ever existed in a movie before. PRAISE BE HERMIONE. HERMIONE FOR PRESIDENT OF THE WORLD.
2. Even when someone thinks you’re hot, all you can think is, BUT DON’T YOU FIND MY MIND HOTTER?
3. Why can’t someone just want to have sex with me because of my brain? is a thought you’ve had more than a handful times.
4. You will instantly fall in love with anyone who is up for some verbal sparring in the name of flirting. If someone falls in love with your brain before they fall in love with your face, you are DONE. IT’S BABYMAKING TIME IMMEDIATELY FOR THAT PERSON.
5. You’re amazing at flirting because, duh, you’re super smart. Problem is, nobody actually knows when you’re flirting, because your particular brand of flirting is by showing off your verbal chops and nobody cares all that much about your verbal chops.
6. You can’t play games while dating. You don’t want to be aloof, especially in texts. You want to talk! About things! You have a lot to say!
7. You prefer books to clubs or bars. Books to curling your hair. Books to makeup. Well, you prefer books to basically anything, except maybe talking to another person about books.
8. When you see a girl dumbing herself down to get someone to like them, it hurts your soul. You want to pull her aside and be all, “Let someone love your brain!”
9. It’s not like you don’t want to be pretty or that you don’t care about how you look. You do! You are down with a 5 minute beauty regimen, for sure, but you sort of resent that your looks are more important than your brains.
10. When a selfie gets more likes than an academic or personal achievement…
11. Your childhood dream was to go to college and maybe become a professor. Maybe an astronaut. Maybe become president. Who knows, you were dreaming big.
12. Trying to find one girl on a television show that you can relate to is like the ultimate struggle. (Besides Hermione… obviously. We’ve discussed our feelings on Hermione.)
13. The excitement you get from watching a spelling bee or a debate tournament must be akin to the excitement some women feel when they watch beauty pageants or The Bachelor.
14. Writing dissertations or solving complex mathematical equations or getting an A in chemistry? Easy! Curling your hair into beach waves? NOPE. TOO HARD. ABORT MISSION.
15. When you go to get your haircut, you’re all, “Do you have anything other than fashion or gossip magazines? What’s a girl gotta do to get just one goddamn back issue of Psychology Today?” Nothing but Us Weekly? *pulls out Kindle*
16. Stepping into a Sephora is like stepping into a labyrinth that you can never escape from and you have no idea what anything means. Sephora is a complexity you can not fathom.
17. This list sounds a little pretentious, but *shrug* whatever. You love being smart and you’ve worked really hard on it. And, if the current culture is not going to fully appreciate smart women, then that’s their loss and you are going to just go on appreciating yourself, because you believe that what’s inside your brain is more important than what’s outside of it. Yep. There it is. HERMIONE (OR MAYBE YOU?) FOR PRESIDENT OF THE WORLD.