Thought Catalog
January 9, 2017

Here’s All The Hilarious Jokes That Had Everyone Laughing Their Asses Off At The Golden Globes

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Instagram / Golden Globes
Instagram / Golden Globes

As always, this year’s Golden Globes gave us plenty of excitement and drama. Also as per usual, they gave us a ton of laughs. Here are some of the ones that drew the biggest LOL moments:

1. Wiig talks about her unfortunate first viewing of “Bambi”

“March 14, 1981, was the same day we had to put our dogs down — three of them: little Jack, Janet and Chrissy. My grandpa thought it’d be fun to go to the movie and take our minds off it. But then, you know, Bambi’s mom. And also, that was the last day I saw my grandpa. He disappeared … and I didn’t speak for two years.”

— Kristen Wiig

2. Fallon references Carey’s disastrous New Years Eve performance

“I just got off the phone with Mariah Carey, and she thinks that Dick Clark Productions sabotaged my monologue.”

— Jimmy Fallon

3. But then is 100% savage toward Donald Trump

“Game of Thrones is nominated tonight, how great is that? The show has so many plot twists and shocking moments, a lot of people have wondered what it would’ve been like if King Joffrey had lived. Well in 12 days, we’re gonna find out.”

— Jimmy Fallon

4. Fallon also has a big zinger on 2016 itself

“You might remember Manchester by the Sea as being the only thing more depressing in 2016 than 2016.”

— Jimmy Fallon

4. Hugh Laurie also rips into Donald Trump

I suppose it’s made more amazing by the fact that I’ll be able to say I won this at the last ever Golden Globes. I don’t mean to be gloomy it’s just that it has the words ‘Hollywood,’ ‘Foreign,’ and ‘Press’ in the title. I just don’t know … I also think to some Republicans even the word ‘association’ is slightly sketchy.”

— Hugh Laurie

5. But then something Laurie feels he has in common with the President-elect

“[I am happy to accept] this award on behalf of psychopathic billionaires everywhere.”

— Hugh Laurie

6. Matt Damon comments on him winning best actor in a comedy for what was supposed to be a serious space drama

“I have the distinct privilege of presenting a very big award. I have that privilege because I received this award in the male category last year for The Martian, and that fact alone is funnier, literally, than anything in The Martian.”

— Matt Damon

7. Hamm jokes about how many people are sporting beards

“I’m really looking forward to the documentary they’re going to make about this year’s Golden Globes, called Beard Parade 2017.”

— Joe Hamm

Cecil B. DeMille Award winner Meryl Streep. Photo by @mertalas and @macpiggott.

A photo posted by Golden Globes (@goldenglobes) on

8. Streep gets extra sassy in the middle of what was a serious speech against Trump

“Hollywood is crawling with outsiders and foreigners, and if we kick ’em all out, you’ll have nothing to watch but football or mixed martial arts — which are not the arts.”

— Meryl Streep

9. Grant points out irony of very dark film being nominated for comedy

“It’s a story about a woman slowly dying of syphilis, which is always, of course, comedy gold.”

— Hugh Grant

10. Talent, Good people around you, and a Willingness to work hard…

“Those are just some of the qualities you need to be successful in an orgy.”

— Drew Barrymore

11. Steve Carell talks about the first time he saw an animated movie

“And as we were leaving the theater, standing in the theater was my mom. And that was the moment she told my dad that she wanted a divorce. I never saw my father again after that day. Fantasia Day.”

— Steve Carell

Overall, some A+ work. As always, congrats to the winners. TC mark

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