Thought Catalog
May 15, 2016

You Deserve To Love Yourself

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Jati Putra
Jati Putra

We live in a world that works tirelessly to convince you that you are something less.

You aren’t beautiful until you buy this shirt, or purchase this make-up, or get this shiny car. You need this, that, and the other before you can be “somebody.” You need to travel to the most exotic places. You need to grow the best career. You need to bring in the best salary. You need to have the most attractive partner. You need more Instagram followers, more attraction, more, more, more. Then you can be pretty. Then you can be happy. Then you can be popular. Then you have worth.

We live in a world where we can look upon a screen and see all the people who seem “better” than us. We can, with the movement of a finger, see all the people who are prettier, smarter, and more accomplished than us. Our overwhelming inadequacy is packaged to us in perfect little boxes, called profiles, just waiting for us to see; quantified for us in numbers of followers, friends, and likes.

We never feel good enough. How could we?

And so we live our lives avoiding mirrors, because we don’t want to see ourselves. Avoiding commitment, because we aren’t the best we can be yet — tomorrow we will have more money, better clothes, and a better life. Avoiding love, because everybody is convinced that they aren’t good enough. We walk with our heads down, because every message around us seems to be that we are inadequate. Because there is always someone prettier, someone cooler, someone better, someone…else.

This is how we love ourselves. But this isn’t the love we deserve.

You are a unique collection of cells and energy that will never again be recreated on this planet earth. In that way alone, you are worthy. How could you not be? You are the most unique person to ever be created. And so am, and so is the next person to read this. That is how you deserve to love yourself.

You deserve to appreciate yourself for what you are. Don’t ignore the awesome things that you have in favor of the things you haven’t. You have great talents, amazing skills, and a unique story that nobody else will ever be able to experience.

You deserve to stop comparing yourself to others. We are all the same — in that we are all infinitely different. A fish wouldn’t think it is very smart either if it judged itself on its ability to climb a tree. The progress you have made in your life, in your story, has no relation to the stories and life adventures of other people.

You deserve to forgive yourself. For everything.

You deserve to live every day to the fullest. Don’t spend so much time looking backwards that you trip over the opportunities right in front of you. Let the ride carry you through the good times, and the bad.

You deserve a confidence in your walk, a smile on your face, a spring in every step. You get to be you! You’re the only one who will EVER get to be you! That’s exciting!

You deserve an extra piece of cake for dessert, a partner who will love you, and a fair shake to all your wildest dreams. That doesn’t mean they will come easy, or that everything will work out, but you owe it you yourself to take the world that has been given.

And yeah, there are people who won’t buy it. There will be those who try to sell you short — especially yourself. But that’s not the love you deserve.

You are worthy of everything you have, and everything you dream of. Don’t let any person, any advertisement, any pessimistic thought tell you otherwise. You are whole, today. You are enough, today.

And it’s easy to believe this when life is going great; when things are hitting on all cylinders, when you feel in a good groove — maybe you can believe in your own beauty. But you deserve to love yourself fully, without conditions or reservations. Your adequacy is not contingent on getting the next promotion, or a second date with the person you got dinner with last week. So long as your heart beats, you are enough.

And what do we do on the days we can’t make ourselves believe this? When you are at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. You deserve tomorrow, and tomorrow will be better.

This world is a beautiful place in which you are one integral, invaluable, in-substitutable part. That’s how you should treat yourself. That’s how you should love yourself. TC mark