I Knew My Ex-Mistress Would Lose Her Mind When We Broke Up, But I Had No Idea She Was Capable Of This

The only thing that gave me a little bit of comfort was that I knew Eric up in Maine who could help.

beetlejuice

I sweated my way through three states until I was within striking distance of Eric’s little shit hole of a no stoplight town. I didn’t call ahead. I didn’t want to give Eric a chance to get freaked out by my situation and back out. I was going to have to be a crazy ass fire alarm that showed up in his gravel driveway screaming out for help just before daybreak.

I didn’t know how the guy would react when I showed up in Tarah’s car with her headless body in the trunk, so I pulled $5,000 in cash out of the office in case he needed some extra motivation to help. Plus, I took care of as much of the dirty work as I could before I hit the road. That included deleting all the texts and emails between Tarah and I, plus all the voicemails and tackling the horrifying job of detailing the inside of the car before I started driving. Luckily, my wife was down in Florida for the week for a work event so there was no one home to notice I went AWOL other than our black lab.

Uncharacteristically driving the speed limit the whole way there, I made it to Eric’s place in about four-and-a-half hours. I dialed up his number when I pulled into his driveway.

I was shocked to see Eric already standing in his open front doorway wearing a bathrobe and a scowl when I unbuckled my seat belt.

“What the fuck is this?” Eric barked from the doorway when I climbed out of the car. “I saw you coming all the way from Pittsfield. I thought you were her.”

I walked forward and he walked towards me until we met in the long grass of his front lawn. His eyes shifted around the property nervously, as if we were making a drug deal.

“Let’s get the fuck inside,” Eric seethed under his breath.

beetlejuice

Jack has written professionally as a journalist, fiction writer, and ghost writer. For more information, visit his website.

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