I wouldn’t say I’m a liar. I’m not, I’m actually quite an honest person most of the time. What I’ve found I do is I conceal. I hide the truth. I bite my tongue one too many times and I don’t know when or how this little habit creeped it’s way into my daily life.
There are time when it’s good to speak up, and there’s time when it’s good to keep your opinion to yourself. We all know this. I think what I’ve began to do though is keep my opinion to myself so much that people simply presume I no longer have one. That I’m a permanent floater. I’m not. I have very strong thoughts, emotions, opinions.
I just am scared of what people think if they heard them.
Yes there is fine line, a fine line between being rude and being honest. Truth is I don’t know if I’ve ever approached that line and I don’t think that is a good thing anymore. Sure, I can brush it off by saying I’m a private person, I just naturally keep things to myself. But no, not anymore because that is not the truth. As equal human beings we should all be able to say what we feel, to voice our own opinion and being a girl this is even more important.
You shouldn’t feel that your opinion is any less valid than the person next to you just because they had to courage or perhaps the naivety to actually say it aloud.
I’ve never lied for bad reasons. I’ve never lied and got someone else into trouble because of it. I’ve lied because I’ve been terrified of what people would think if they actually saw all of me. I’ve lied because I don’t like the look on people’s faces when they hear other people’s thoughts they don’t agree with and I don’t want to be the one speaking to that face. I’ve lied because sometimes it’s hard to explain what your really thinking and there’s always the fear no one will understand and someone will always judge.
Yes, I’ve lied.
It’s no the end of the world but it is the start of becoming someone your not and that is why it had to stop. I don’t want to eventually become the girl without a voice. Neither do you, so if your stuck in a rut of lying because your terrified of people seeing the real you. Let me tell you, it won’t happen overnight, you won’t wake up tomorrow and be able to tell your friends everything you’ve kept inside yourself. It will be slow, it will be the occasional, “I don’t think so” or the odd, “I’m actually going to go here instead” until finally you’ll wake up one day and realise you don’t have to please anyone to have a good day.
And you don’t need to lie because the people who really love you will really want to hear about that time you’ve never talked about and they won’t judge you, they’ll laugh with you.
You’ll no longer be alone.